Josh and Sarah

Valentine's Day and A Little Update

2012-02-14T22:21:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

"See how great a LOVE the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God." 1 John 3:1

We will be leaving for MD Anderson Bright and early Monday morning. Actually, it will be dark and early Monday morning because the sun won't even be up yet. Catherine will be staying with my mom while Josh and I are gone for 2 days and 1 night. This will be the first time I have been away from her. I am not looking forward to it AT ALL. Fasting for a PET scan and having my claustrophobic self subjected to an MRI is bad enough. Leaving my baby makes it that much worse. As always, prayers would be much appreciated...

1) for good test results

2) for safe travel

3) for peace of mind as we are away from Catherine, even though I know she will be well taken care of

4) that Catherine won't have any issues. This will be the first time she has had only bottles. Makes me a little nervous. She takes a bottle fairly well, but I hope she takes back to Mommy when we get home :)

5) for Josh and I to be able to enjoy a couple of days together, despite the circumstances

We hope you all had a blessed Valentine's Day!

"But God demonstrates His own LOVE toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

Baby Shower #2

2012-01-02T18:58:00.000-06:00

I had to wait until we had revealed the gender to everyone before I posted pics from my second baby shower. This was with my wonderful home church family at Pine Grove. We are so blessed to have two wonderful, awesome, generous church families who love us and have prayed as much as we have for our little miracle!

My mom and cousin Holly along with Mrs. Marianne, Katie, and Mrs. Jerrilynn decorated the family life center for the nursery rhyme themed shower. Some of the inspiration for the nursery rhyme shower was found on Pinterest but originally came from here.

These were the adorable centerpieces. They were diaper cakes topped with nursery rhyme stuffed animals and baby dresses on hangers -- all of which I got to keep! My mom made the diaper cakes. They were precious!

The dish and the spoon that Holly made for me!

Awesome cake made by Clark! Also found on Pinterest.

Even the food was nursery rhyme themed. And there was lots of it! Thanks to all who brought food. So many sweet friends and family members helped out.

Hilarious. You can see my pregnant belly in the reflection of the bowl taking the picture. Also funny if you read the nursery rhyme association here. Piping hot, smoking hot...not so much!

Wow. Might I remind you this was my second shower. I think I will single handedly keep the USPS funded this year with all the thank you notes I will be sending.

Cutest idea ever! Instead of a sign in book, Holly made a sign in tree for people to write down baby name suggestions. We finally decided on her name the morning we were discharged from the hospital.

The fun part!

My grandmothers :)

Aunt Carolyn and Grandmama.

Holly, Aunt Bobbie, my Maw-maw, Madison, Mom, and Aunt Ginny. Four generations!

She's Here!

2012-01-02T14:49:00.001-06:00

Welcome to the world Miss Catherine Grace Phares! We are so blessed by the arrival of our baby girl!

December 28, 2011 11:27 AM
6 lbs 2.5 oz
21 inches long

Three days past due. So much for the Santa Suit, but Happy New Year!

Proud Daddy. She has his eyes and long legs.

Footprints!

Our happy family

My dad...

and Mom.

Going home! This one is for Emily Jane :)

Home and relaxing!

Baby Shower #1

2011-10-29T20:19:00.000-05:00

I am so overwhelmed by the generosity of my friends and family and the wonderful ladies of our church.

The food was delicious…

The company was wonderful…

Oh and then there’s this…

I am overwhelmed by God’s goodness to us.

All is Well

2011-08-19T14:39:00.000-05:00

My MRI was clear and blood work was all normal! Wooo hooooo!

We got to Houston around 9 PM Wednesday night for my MRI. I couldn't have IV contrast since I'm pregnant, so the MRI only took about 20 minutes - definitely the lowest stress I've ever had for an MRI. Thursday morning we stuck to our typical routine of sleeping late, eating a late breakfast at Cracker Barrel, and killing time at Bass Pro getting plenty of good ideas for Josh's upcoming birthday. As miserable at is to wait and worry about test results, Josh and I really enjoy the time we get to spend together. Eating a leisurely breakfast is a rare treat for us.

We checked in at the doctor's office for blood work at 12:45 and saw the doctor at around 3 PM. They were so excited that we had a baby on the way. The nurse practitioner claimed she saw the doctor crying some happy tears. I hope so. I hope our story gets at their hearts. She also told me how great her home-brith experience was for her second child and that she highly recommends it. I don't think I'm brave enough for that this time around, but maybe next time...

We go back in February for the big checkup - the PET scan. The doctor really wanted us to come back about two weeks after the baby is born, but the nurse practitioner talked him out of it so I'd have plenty of time to get the nursing routine established (have to skip a couple of days after the PET scan).

Thank you all so much for your continued prayers for us and for rejoicing with us. Even as we rejoice in our good news and the blessings God has given us, we are always mindful of the struggles others are going through. Everyone should go spend a few hours at MD Anderson, or St. Jude, or Mary Bird Perkins every so often. It will drastically change your outlook on things. Never take your health or the health of your family for granted! Come quickly Lord Jesus. We are ready for a world with no cancer!

Time For a Little Checkup

2011-08-16T21:48:00.000-05:00

We will be heading to Houston tomorrow evening for an MRI at 9 PM (bleh!) and will see the doctor for the results on Thursday afternoon. Pregnancy has been going very well. I'm 21 1/2 weeks, and Baby P. is doing fine. Being pregnant definitely adds a different level of stress to the whole check up process. But at the same time, it also keeps us mindful of how far the Lord has brought us. Prayers for good results and safe travel would be much appreciated!

Two Years Ago Today (written Wednesday)

2011-07-31T22:05:00.000-05:00

Two years ago from last Wednesday, July 27^th 2009, I was at the Baton Rouge Surgical Center having an abnormal growth removed from my nose. One week later, I found out it was cancer. About one month later, I was told the chance of ever conceiving was about 30%. This past Wednesday, I had a checkup with a high-risk doctor at Woman’s Hospital and was told the baby is perfectly healthy. I left with an envelope containing a note with the baby’s gender.

Maybe it is just coincidence that I saw the high-risk doctor on the two year anniversary of my surgery. Of course, I don’t really believe in coincidence. God’s providence is amazing. This is always a very difficult time of year for me because I begin to relive everything we went through – finding out I had cancer, days waiting for a diagnosis, a battery of tests, starting chemo before I knew what had hit me…I will stop before I get into the details of everything that goes back through my mind.

Now, this time of year will remind me, not only of the stressful and scary time that we went through two years ago, it will remind me of the 2^nd trimester of my first pregnancy, seeing my first baby on the ultrasound being such a wiggle worm, eating lots of pickles and Nutella (not together), and maybe, if we decide to open that envelope, finding out the gender. Instead of thinking about my next chemo treatment, I am thinking about baby showers, picking out crib bedding, and most importantly, meeting this new little person that God has seen fit to let us call ours.

God has truly given us beauty for ashes.

“…to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that HE might be glorified.” Isaiah 61:3

30%, Good Odds

2011-06-05T12:41:00.000-05:00

Well it’s been a while since we’ve updated the blog! No news is good news! After the last checkup, we we’re given a whole 6 months before we have to go back, so we’ve been enjoying not thinking about Houston and hospitals and such. Instead, we’ve been enjoying our new baby niece, weddings, fishing, hog hunting (Josh), and spending time with our families and friends.

So, the story behind the title of this blog…

When I first went through chemo, my doctor told us we would have about a 50% chance of ever being able to have children. Because of the type of cancer I had, they did not want to allow us the time to freeze embryos or eggs and instead wanted us to start chemo right away. After starting chemo, I had a consult with a gynecological oncologist, and she told us our chances were more like 70/30 – a 30% chance that we would ever conceive.

Last October, my doctor gave us the green light to begin trying to have a baby. Although I was very impatient and very sad as each month passed with no baby news, I never really believed I would fall into the 70%. During chemo, a sweet friend of ours, Mrs. Pat, sent me a beautiful yellow prayer shawl. It came with a sweet note that said she hoped we could also one day use it in the nursery. This was not long after we’d been given the discouraging statistics. However, Mrs. Pat knew about none of this. I always felt like the shawl and the note were a promise from God.

We are happy to announce that Baby Phares is on the way! He or she is due on Christmas Day! I am a few days short of being in my second trimester. I am still so overwhelmed by God’s goodness to us. I feel like I should have something profound to say, but I don’t know what more I can add. We weren’t supposed to have a baby so easily, but we are. I am so humbled by what the Lord has done in our lives.

Check up results

2011-02-20T18:08:00.000-06:00

The Lord continues to be faithful to us and bless us with His protection and healing. All of Sarah's scan results where clear, as well as the MRI. We even were blessed with being allowed a six month break until we have to come back for our next checkup. We thank you all for your continued support and prayers. It is such a blessing to us to have such faithful family and friends. We thank the Lord for you all and continue to praise Him for the miracles he has brought about and what He continues to do in our lives. You would think that at this point in time in this journey that we would be somewhat used to and expectant of the whole process and results thereof. However, I am not sure that it gets any easier. We only manage through His sustaining power and the prayers of those of you who continue to be faithful in praying for us. I guess the brokenness of this world along with the reality of what we have been through keeps us mindful of the seriousness of the ordeal, as well as humble in respect to what the Lord has done for us. It seems as though every time we approach the time to journey to Houston for a checkup, we receive news that someone else we know is now beginning their own battle. Maybe it is just the fact that we are more conscious of these issues now, or perhaps it is just the reality of the state of brokenness of the world of which we are all a part. In every instance the thought process, which can be a downward spiral if one is not careful, is reignited. However, although the potential is certainly present for this to become a path of self-destruction, the potential is also there to wholly look to and cling to the Lord for his help and provision. It also serves to keep us humble and very sensitive to the struggles that others are facing, certainly including, but not limited to cancer. I have said numerous times to Sarah that it would serve everyone well to have to spend a day in the waiting rooms of MD Anderson, or a similar facility. It would certainly force one to practice or perhaps attempt to learn patience, but in all seriousness, just to observe what others are going through. It realigns my thinking now, and I have been through the whole process in some capacity. I was clueless before, and I consider myself to be a fairly empathetic person. I must say though in light of the way I feel now, I was not at all relatively speaking. I find myself praying for those around me in waiting rooms. I don't really know their situations, but I know the Lord can help them and that they can see His love shine through in these situations. I guess it proves you may never know what someone may be going through when looking from the outside. We all have our own issues we deal with, the Lord has just blessed us by opening our eyes to what one really feels and goes through.

Now having said all of that, don't think that I have some new found great love for all of mankind and have the perfect attitude toward everyone, because I don't. The Lord is still molding me and shaping me into the type of person and servant He would have me to be. In all honesty I have to say Sarah has a lot better grip on this than I do. The number of people she keeps up with and prays for is incredible. I am not strong enough or disciplined enough to do this. All of this to say, the Lord has really blessed us through this whole process and all that goes with it. Now would I be saying this if the checkup had not gone well...I don't know. I would like to think that He would give the grace to do so, but I'm not sure. I can see a lot of good that has come out of it though. He continues to be faithful to us and provides us with all that we need. It is still not easy. I/we still get scared, nervous, unnecessarily and sinfully anxious and worried, and there is a long way yet to go. So, we still need your prayers for all we may face. Still the Lord keeps His promises, shows us love and mercy, and gives us the grace that we ourselves do not possess in order to even function on a daily basis, much less in the midst of serious trial. Hopefully, He will continue to find ways to use us and what we have been through to minister to others. Maybe it is just in prayer, but it is the least we can do for all that He has done for us in this temporal, broken world. How much more should we be thankful for what He has done for us in the eternal realm by sending His son to redeem us. How blessed we all are. Thank you all again for your prayers and support. If there is anything we can do or pray for for any of you please let us know.

One Year Later

2011-02-15T21:56:00.000-06:00

It's that time again - check-up time. It's hard to believe, but this check up will be one year since I was officially declared "in remission." Of course, as my doctor said a few days ago, I've really been in remission since he met me. Josh and I have been reflecting today on how much God has done for us and how faithful He has been to us. We are truly blessed. My boss asked me today if I have any lasting effects from everything. "No...just a dry nose." Wow. That's it. My nose is dry when the humidity is low. I could go back and list out all the amazing things the Lord has done for us on this journey, but the majority of them are here on the blog for your reading pleasure.

We are leaving for Houston around 10 am tomorrow. We will check in at MD Anderson at 3 for a PET scan. That process will probably last until around 6 pm. They check you in, do your paperwork, check your blood sugar, start an IV, inject you with the radioactive glucose (disturbing isn't it?), then leave you alone in a dark room for 45 minutes (nap time!). The scan itself only takes about 20 minutes.

After that, I have an 8 pm MRI. This means we will probably be at the hospital until around 9:30 or 10. We see Dr. Fowler for the results at 3 pm on Thursday.

As always, we would greatly appreciate your prayers for safe travel and good results. Thanks for checking up on us and for being so faithful to pray!

All is Well!

2010-10-27T16:50:00.000-05:00

Praise God! PET scan, MRI, and blood work were all perfect! Back for just an MRI in 3 months, no PET.
Psalm 13:6 I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.

Groundhog Day

2010-10-21T22:12:00.000-05:00

Time to do it all over again! I feel a bit like Phil in Groundhog Day: "I wake up every day, right here, right in Punxsutawney, and it's always February 2nd, and there's nothing I can do about it." Maybe not quite that pessimistic, but I do feel like we're doing the same thing all over again!

We head back to Houston at 4:30 AM next Tuesday, the 26th. Check in for PET scan at 9:30 AM, PET scan at 11:30 AM, check in for MRI at 1:30 PM, MRI at 2 PM, lab work at 3 PM. See the doctor for the results Wednesday at 3 PM. After this checkup, it should be 9 months to a year before the next one.

We'll get on the road about 15 minutes late. Josh will stop for breakfast somewhere around Lafayette and feel guilty about eating since I have to fast. I will assure him that I don't mind him eating then pester him about it just for entertainment. We'll spend all day at MD Anderson, and at some point, someone will strike up a conversation with Josh in a waiting room telling him their life story. I'll get a warm blanket for my PET scan, and tell Josh that I wish I had a blanket warmer at home. He'll sit in the MRI room with me and rub my feet when I start to get claustrophobic. I will sing hymns and gospel songs in my mind to keep from getting nervous. After the MRI is over, we'll leave and get something to eat because I'll be hungry and getting grumpy. Note to self: DO NOT stuff yourself full of Raisinets after fasting all day unless you really want to have an unpleasant evening.

We'll check into our hotel room and fall asleep watching Sports Center. Which reminds me, I need to book our room at the Holiday Inn Express. We'll get up Wednesday and eat free breakfast at the hotel, then spend the day trying to waste time until we get the test results at 3 PM. We will do lots of praying and lots of Bible reading. Lord willing, we'll get good news and be out of Houston before rush hour traffic hits.

As always, we ask for your prayers for safe travel and good results. I will end with yet another Morning and Evening reading. This is from the morning of Oct 17th. I feel like I've posted it before, but if so, it's just that good :) I intended to post just an excerpt from it, but I just couldn't leave any of it out.

“And David said in his heart, I shall now perish one day by the hand of Saul.”
1 Samuel 27:1

The thought of David’s heart at this time was a false thought, because he certainly had no ground for thinking that God’s anointing him by Samuel was intended to be left as an empty unmeaning act. On no one occasion had the Lord deserted his servant; he had been placed in perilous positions very often, but not one instance had occurred in which divine interposition had not delivered him. The trials to which he had been exposed had been varied; they had not assumed one form only, but many—yet in every case he who sent the trial had also graciously ordained a way of escape. David could not put his finger upon any entry in his diary, and say of it, “Here is evidence that the Lord will forsake me,” for the entire tenor of his past life proved the very reverse. He should have argued from what God had done for him, that God would be his defender still. But is it not just in the same way that we doubt God’s help? Is it not mistrust without a cause? Have we ever had the shadow of a reason to doubt our Father’s goodness? Have not his lovingkindnesses been marvellous? Has he once failed to justify our trust? Ah, no! our God has not left us at any time. We have had dark nights, but the star of love has shone forth amid the blackness; we have been in stern conflicts, but over our head he has held aloft the shield of our defence. We have gone through many trials, but never to our detriment, always to our advantage; and the conclusion from our past experience is, that he who has been with us in six troubles, will not forsake us in the seventh. What we have known of our faithful God, proves that he will keep us to the end. Let us not, then, reason contrary to evidence. How can we ever be so ungenerous as to doubt our God? Lord, throw down the Jezebel of our unbelief, and let the dogs devour it.

It's Been A While

2010-09-09T22:01:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I've posted, but no news is good news! Let's see if I can remember what we've been up to!

I was home from my two week training in Phoenix for two weeks, and then gone another week for training in Port Arthur, TX. I interned in Port Arthur 6 years ago. It's not the most exciting place on earth, but I guess plenty of people would say that about Gonzales/P-Ville too. It was fun to go back and see how things have changed (not much!). I should get a break from training for a little while now.

I'm still settling into my new job and liking it so far. The learning curve is really steep, but I'm getting there...very, very slowly. Josh is busy with work as always.

All in all, things have been very normal. We've been taking advantage of the down time we have at home with no traveling, enjoying time with friends and family, watching football, getting excited about fall (specifically deer season for Josh). I'm still running and slowly getting my 5k time down. Josh had a good birthday this year, unlike last year which was spent in the hospital with me. We have friends getting married, family members having babies, pretty much doing what normal people do! Normal can be scary though.

It's somewhat difficult to relax and not worry about the next check up. I'm sure that is something we will likely deal with for years. It's hard to enjoy normal life when we know of so many going through things much more difficult than what we have been through. I follow 5 blogs of kids with cancer. Some in remission, some who have relapsed, and some just beginning their fight. I have a prayer list of about 20 people who are also at various points on this difficult road. I get questions a few times a week from people who want to know about chemo or radiation or cancer in general because they have a family member or friend who has been diagnosed. I told my mom that it's like buying a new car - once you have that car, it seems like everyone else on the road does too. But unfortunately, when it comes to cancer, I think there really are an awful lot of people driving this car. Remember them in your prayers, and take the best care of yourself you can in every aspect of your life. And if you haven't read "Anti-Cancer" yet, read it. Enough of this tangent.

We go back to MD Anderson October 26th and 27th, the day after our two year wedding anniversary. We would appreciate your prayers for 100% clear scans, and would also appreciate your prayers as we wait to get those appointments behind us. I think after this checkup, I won't have another for 9 months or so.

And to end on a more upbeat note, check out my hair :)

Better Late Than Never I Guess!

2010-07-26T19:50:00.001-05:00

I think at this point we have texted, e-mailed, called, or seen everyone to let them know my scans were ALL CLEAR! Praise God! Three months until next check up!

Here are a few pictures from our Grand Canyon trip:

Schedule of Events

2010-07-20T22:01:00.000-05:00

I am currently writing this from Phoenix. I've been here for training since the 12th, and I'm so ready to go home! Josh and I went to the Grand Canyon the weekend before my class started, and it was AMAZING. We had a great time. Tomorrow is my last day of class, and I will be flying out Thursday morning.

On Thursday, I will fly into Houston, and Josh and my mom will be picking me up at the airport. From there, we will be heading straight to MD Anderson for my 6 month checkup (although it's technically a 5 month checkup). I get to the airport in Houston at 12:20 PM and am scheduled to check in for my PET/CT at 1 PM! We're going to be cutting it close! Oh, and I have to fast for 6 hrs. I am not pleasant to be around when I'm hungry! Hopefully I'll get to eat something before getting on the plane.

The entire PET/CT process - checking in, getting an IV started, getting injected with the radioactive isotope, drinking the awful barium contrast, etc, etc, and the actual scan - will last from 1 until around 4 I'm thinking. Then I will go two floors down for the MRI at 7 PM, hopefully with a break for some food in between. It will be a very long day.

On Friday, we have to wait until 2:30 PM to see Dr. Fowler. Waiting around Houston all day is never fun. We are always somewhat anxious (though we've never had any reason to be), but we will be slightly more so this time due to the ultrasound scare earlier this month. Also, even though this is considered the "6 month checkup," it feels more like the one year checkup. The only evidence that I ever had cancer was in my nose, and that was removed one year ago as of next Tuesday.

We would greatly appreciate your prayers for safe travel, calm nerves, and good results. Thanks very much to those of you who have already let us know you are praying for us. We can feel your prayers!

Update

2010-07-06T10:03:00.000-05:00

Doctor Henkelmann doesn't think it's anything to worry about. He said it would not follow the pattern for this type of lymphoma at all for something to show up in the liver, but, if it would give me peace of mind, go ahead and move up my August checkup (PET/CT) to the end of July, but until then, "turn my brain off." We will probably try to schedule those appointments in Houston for the week I come back from Phoenix (a couple of weeks from now) and just stop in Houston on the way home. We would appreciate your continued prayers.

Thanks!

Never a Dull Moment

2010-07-02T18:18:00.000-05:00

It has been an interesting month...

I've been having gallbladder attacks periodically since January. After having one last month, I decided it was finally time to see the doctor about it. Long story short, I had an ultrasound of my abdomen today. They did see some sludge in my gallbladder (no stones, praise God) which is likely causing the attacks, but I don't neccessarily need to have it removed right now.

They also saw a 1.9 cm spot on my liver. The report from the radiologist said it is potentially a hemangioma. From the Mayo Clinic website: "Liver hemangioma (he-man-jee-O-muh) is a noncancerous (benign) mass that occurs in the liver. A liver hemangioma is made up of a tangle of poorly formed blood vessels. Liver hemangioma is sometimes called hepatic hemangioma or cavernous hemangioma." Of course, they cannot say conclusively that this is what it is. I was already scheduled to see Dr. Henkelmann (radiation oncologist) for a check-up next Tuesday, so I will be picking up a copy of the ultrasound to bring with me. Either he will look and have no concerns, or he may bump up my next PET/CT scan from August to soon.

All my blood work has been normal recently, and I've been feeling great. Still, we can't help but worry. On top of all this, I'm dealing with a viral infection in my eye and have had a couple bouts of some type of eye inflammation over the past month. And I'm scheduled to leave on Friday for training in Phoenix starting 7/12.

We would greatly appreciate your prayers. We still fully believe that the Lord has healed me, and there is nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, we're still human and prone to worry. We will update when we know more.

It's All Good!

2010-05-30T22:39:00.000-05:00

I had a good checkup. MRI was clear and blood work was normal! Praise God! My white count is still on the low end of normal, but the docs say it may take a while to recover. I'm going to the ENT Dr. for a checkup on June 8th. Even though the MRI was clear, Dr. Fowler said he would still like the ENT to look in my nose but doesn't expect to find anything. Other than that, nothing to report!

We have not stopped since we left for Houston Tuesday. We got home late Wednesday afternoon, went to Russell and Amelia's rehearsal dinner Thursday night and wedding Friday night in Hammond/Ponchatoula, went fishing with Chris and Katy yesterday, and cooked the fish we caught today. Yum! I will now be spending my Memorial Day holiday cleaning and doing the laundry that I put off all week. Oh well! A messy apartment and no clean clothes just means we've been too busy enjoying life :)

Here's a pic from Russell and Amelia's wedding...

Happy Memorial Day!

It's that time again!

2010-05-21T10:43:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time since I've updated, but no news is good news! We will be heading back to MD Anderson Tuesday for an MRI and checkup with the doctor on Wednesday morning. When we last went to MDA, Dr. Fowler said we could alternate between Baton Rouge and Houston for MRIs/PET scans. However, Dr. Billings (at Mary Bird Perkins) thinks it would be best for me to have all the scans done at the same place so that they can easily compare to the most recent scans. So back to Houston it is! This is about the best schedule we could ask for - a 4:30 PM MRI on Tuesday and a 9 AM Dr's appointment on Wednesday. Should be a quick trip.
Please pray for safe travel, for our nerves as we wait to get this over with, for our nerves as we wait for the results Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, and of course, for clear results!
I've been doing great over the last few months. I moved to a different department at work, and although I still have soooooo much to learn, I'm enjoying it so far. Josh has been busy at work as always and busy working on his garden. Looking forward to some summer veggies soon!
We've had a busy few months with weddings (congrats Adrienne&Malcolm and Nathan&Jocelyn), Easter, Mother's Day, my mom's 50th birthday, and enjoying time with our friends and family. I've been going without a hat since March 12th, and the short hair is certainly nice for the summer. I guess I should post a new picture! I also ran a 5k in April which was really fun. I'm running another tomorrow morning.
Thanks to all of you who continue to check on us and check the blog. We appreciate your concern for us and your prayers. I will post again next week.

Finally, a free minute...

2010-03-01T22:03:00.001-06:00

Finally I have a minute to sit down and write a more detailed post!

We left for Houston at 4 AM (yuck!) Thursday morning so we could make it to Houston by 9. After getting labs drawn, I had my PET scan. I had to fast all morning for that, so by the time it was over I was starving! Lucky Josh had two sausage biscuits on the way to Houston! We at a quick lunch at MD Anderson, then checked into our hotel and took a nap. Our hotel was full of cowboys! Apparently, the Houston rodeo and livestock show was last weekend. They were an entertaining bunch.

After a nap, we went back to Anderson for my MRI. This was, by far, the least stressful MRI I have had. We picked up some Quizno's and headed back to our hotel, and I was asleep in no time! Thursday was a long, long day.

We were able to sleep in Friday since my dr's appointment wasn't until 2:30 pm. Sleeping in was nice, but the late appointment gave us plenty of time to wait and worry. We knew we had nothing to worry about, but it's so hard not to when waiting on results. We went to La Madeleine for breakfast, killed some time in Barnes and Noble, and then met my parents for lunch. They came into town in time for the doctor appointment. We all tried to choke down some Chik-fil-A for lunch, but none of us had much of an appetite.

We finally saw the doctor around 3:30 or so, and as I said in the last post, everything was 100% clear! Praise God! I am now officially allowed to say I'm "in remission." My MD Anderson doc wants me to have an MRI of my head every 3 months, alternating between Houston and Baton Rouge. I'll also have PET scans every 4 to 6 months. This means only a couple of trips to Anderson a year. Yay!

We got home around 10 PM Friday, and we were busy all day Saturday and Sunday. Needless to say, we are WORN OUT! But I'm not complaining :)

We have been incredibly blessed throughout this ordeal and are constantly reminded of how "easy" this has been compared to what many are going through. Josh and I greatly appreciate everyone who has followed this blog, prayed for us, sent cards and e-mails and text messages, and just loved us. We have the best friends and family and church families anyone could ask for. God has been tremendously gracious to us.

I'm not sure what I'll do with the blog now since I (thankfully!) won't have much news to share. I don't plan to delete it, but I won't be updating it very often. If anyone has a suggestion, feel free to let me know!

Remission!!!

2010-02-27T09:26:00.000-06:00

This will be short and sweet because I'm updating from my iPhone but I am officially in remission! Thank you all so much for your prayers! My scans were 100% clear!

Time for a Check Up

2010-02-24T13:08:00.000-06:00

We head back to Houston bright and early (4 AM) tomorrow morning for my next set of scans. I'll be having a PET scan sometime around 10:30 AM and an MRI at 5:30 PM. We will see the doctor for the results on Friday at 2:30. The doctors don't expect to find anything since they never have, but of course, we still get nervous until we get the results. Please pray for safe travel, for our nerves as we wait until late Friday for the results, for my nerves while I have the MRI done (I HATE MRI's), and of course that I am cancer free! I think they will officially declare me "in remission" after this set of scans.

I would also ask that you pray for Gabe Hilliard today and tomorrow. I mentioned him in a post a while back. He is getting his post-treatment scans today and will get the results tomorrow.

I read Spurgeon's "Cheque Book of the Bank of Faith" devotional Monday morning. This was the verse: "David said moreover, The LORD that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine. And Saul said unto David, Go, and the LORD be with thee. " 1 Samuel 17:37 The last two sentences of Spurgeon's writing were, "He did not save us from the beasts of the forest to let a giant kill us. Let us be of good courage." What an encouragement. God's timing is perfect.

You can read the full devotional here.

Thanks again for your continued prayer and support!

ALL DONE!

2010-01-29T14:23:00.000-06:00

I am completely finished with treatment!!! Praise the Lord!! I completed my last radiation treatment on January 20th. I'm feeling great and slowly getting my energy back. I don't think I realized how much the radiation (or maybe just driving into Baton Rouge every morning) was wearing me out. I got a cute certificate when I finished, and they offered to let me keep the ugly mask thing I had to wear during radiation. I politely declined! Never want to see that thing again!

Josh and I went back to Houston the next day for a checkup with the cardiologist. The day after that, we saw the oncologist. The cardiologist did an echo cardiogram and said my heart looked perfect! Praise God! He said it's not often he gets to see such a perfect echo. He also said I don't need to see him anymore unless I have a problem.

Dr. Fowler did bloodwork and just a general check up the next day. Everything was fine with that. He has me scheduled to go back to Houston for my next set of scans at the end of February. After that, I will get scanned every 3 months for 1-2 years (in BR I think). Please pray that this next set is completely clear. The doctors expect them to be. I see Dr. Billings again on Monday for blood work and a check up and Dr. Henkelmann again on Feb. 23rd.

As Dr. Fowler put it last Friday, now we just wait. We wait for the next set of scans, we wait for my hair to finish growing back, we wait for my nose to finish healing from radiation, etc etc. I will be glad when this "every 3 months" business is over!

Thank you all so much for following the blog, leaving comments, sending e-mails and cards, and praying for us throughout all of this. We couldn't have made it through without all of our wonderful friends and family! Please continue to pray for us as we try to get back to our normal day-to-day routine and as we go for this next set of scans.

Thanks!
Sarah and Josh

P.S. Yes, I know, the blog still has a Christmas background up. I can't change it at work, though, and my personal computer is broken :( Guess you get to enjoy the Christmas spirit just a little while longer!

Two Days Left....

2010-01-18T15:39:00.000-06:00

I only have two more radiation treatments left! Yay!!! They have been fairly easy with only minimal side effects. Thank you all for your continued prayers.

This Thursday, Josh and I will be heading back to Houston for a check up. I will have an echo cardiogram on Thursday morning at 10AM and see the cardiologist that afternoon. They want to do a follow up visit since my heart rate was so high during my last stay in the hospital. It has been normal since a few days after we got home from the last stay in Houston. However, it seems like it has been creeping back up as this trip gets closer. I think it's strictly anxiety! Pray that my heart rate will stay low and that the echo will be normal. Every echo they've done so far has been normal.

On Friday we will see my oncologist, Dr. Fowler. They are not planning to do any scans or tests while I'm there. I should be due for another scan in about a month I think. So I guess this visit will just be routine blood work. I will see Dr. Billings in Baton Rouge again on Feb. 1st for another routine check up.

Thanks for your continued prayers throughout all of this. Your cards, e-mails, etc. have been such an encouragement to us. As always, we would appreciate your prayers for safe travel and good results during this visit. I'm thrilled to be at the end of all my treatment. The Lord has truly blessed us throughout all of this.

Eventually, I will get around to changing out the Christmas theme on here. Just as soon as I take the Christmas lights down at our apartment... :-)

Radiation Begins!

2009-12-15T18:07:00.000-06:00

After today, I have 24 treatments left. I'll be going to radiation at 7 AM, 5 days a week for the next 5 weeks in Baton Rouge. My appointments are early enough that I can go before work and still work a full day. Dr. Henkelmann expects the side effects to be very mild. They're just hitting the area right around my nose.

I don't have much else to write about, which is a good thing. I'm back at work full time, just not on call 24 hours a day like normal. I have a week of vacation next week, so maybe I'll finally get the Christmas shopping done. We are really looking forward to Christmas. I just wish it would stop raining so we could turn on the Christmas lights on outside!

A Long Overdue Update!

2009-12-08T22:00:00.000-06:00

It has been way too long since I updated this thing! Partly because I wanted a break from talking about medical things for a while, and partly because I am lazy :)

So, we came home on November 20th I believe. About three days later, my heart rate returned to its "normal" of about 75-80. I need to get back in shape and get that down, but it's certainly better than the 120-140 I was running in the hospital. Blood pressure and heart rate seem to be fine ever since. I think it dropped down to around 100 as soon as we crossed the state line back into Louisiana. It's so good to be home.

We had a great Thanksgiving at my grandmother's house. I think we had around 30 people there and way too much to eat, of course. I was able to eat everything with nothing tasting weird and no upset stomach, so that was very enjoyable. As a result, I am back up to my pre-chemo weight. I guess that's a good thing. I spent the day before Thanksgiving cooking with Mom, Holly, and Kyle. We had a lot of fun, although I tired out very easily. I was so glad and thankful to God to be home and healthy for Thanksgiving and able to spend time with family.

I went back to work on the Monday after Thanksgiving. I am slowly getting back in the swing of things, although I'm not back to my normal job duties yet. I think that will need to wait until after radiation since those appointments are 5 days a week. I had a PET/CT scan last Thursday, an appointment with Dr. Billings yesterday for the scan results and labs, and an appointment with Dr. Henkelmann (radiation oncologist) today. I was off last Friday, so my last 3 working days have been half days due to all these appointments.

During the PET/CT on Thursday, I had to wear this mask thingy (no better way to describe it) that makes a mold of my upper body from about the shoulders up and covering my face. They clamped this thing down, so I couldn't really take a deep breath. Along with that, I had a mouth piece that held my tongue down and my mouth open. They also put a piece of "artificial tissue" in the left side of my nose (where I had the tumor). That made things very interesting.

When we went to see Dr. Billings for the scan results yesterday, he told us, "Everything is fine from your knee caps up until we get to your nose." The scan report said they saw abnormal tissue, but it did not pick up the radioactive isotope. That means it didn't show any cancerous activity. Dr. Billings said his feeling was that it was scar tissue from my surgery. The first question I asked was if it could be caused by the thing they shoved up my nose during the scan. Dr. Billings was not aware of the artificial tissue thing, so he deferred to Dr. Henkelmann. Josh and I were very upset. We came home and cried and prayed and worried and waited to see Dr. Henkelmann today. As we pulled into the parking garage at Mary Bird Perkins, Dr. Billings called me on my cell. Turns out, it was the artificial tissue that the radiologist saw and nothing more. Praise God! My scans were 100% clear. Dr. Henkelmann said he would have informed the radiologist of the artificial tissue earlier to avoid the confusion, but he was caught in a snow storm in Nebraska. It was a rough 24 hours for us, but all is well. The Lord has a purpose for everything, even 24 hours of stress that turns out to be nothing. :)

Aside from the scan scare, my appointment with Dr. Billings went well. My red count is a little low, so we will check it again in a couple of weeks. If it is back to normal, I won't need to see him again for a couple of months. If it keeps dropping, I might need more blood :(

The appointment with Dr. Henkelmann went well today. I will start radiation about a week from now, hopefully at St. Elizabeth. That would make things much more convenient than driving to Baton Rouge everyday! The treatment will last for about 5 weeks (5 days a week). Dr. Henkelmann expects the side effects to be very mild since they will be treating such a small area. Aside from all of that, we saw Santa at Mary Bird today and got a candy cane from him. Then we had lunch at Copeland's with Mom, so it turned out to be a good day.

I think that's about all that is going on in our little world right now, and that's enough! We go back to MD Anderson at the end of January for a check up with the cardiologist and oncologist there. Until then, we'll be enjoying the Christmas season! God has blessed us tremendously, and we have so much to be thankful for!

Heading Home?

2009-11-20T13:03:00.000-06:00

It appears that we are going to be released to go home today. The stem cell doctors said they actually extracted 10.2 million stem cells in that one collection. Over twice what they had hoped to collect. The Lord provides! The cardiologist just came in to review the results of the echo-cardiogram. She said everything looked good on the echo. They are still concerned with the high heart rate, but agree its probably a combination of things working against Sarah in this regard. She is on a strong antibiotic, has had an enormous amount of stress on her mentally and physically in the last few months, her body condition has declined due to inactivity over the past months so she is not in as good of shape as she was, and maybe the biggest factor, her hemoglobin (oxygen carrying capacity) is still 3 points low at 9 rather than the bottom of the healthy range at 12, her electrolytes and hydration are also very much on the low end of where they should be. Hopefully, when all returns to normal, so will her heart rate. We are still waiting on the infusion therapy nurse to come in and remove the large pheresis catheter from under Sarah's collarbone. Hopefully all will go well with that and we finally won't have to deal with any lines to flush and dressings to cover and all of that good stuff. Pray as well that we don't have to turn around and come right back over Tuesday for restaging scans. Pray we can get everything done to get them moved to Baton Rouge. Pray as well that they are still clear, as we fully expect them to be, and we can move on with the radiation. The Lord has watched over us so wonderfully. We thank you for all your prayers, and may the Lord bless all of you as well. Pray everything goes well and we can get home safely. Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!!! He is more loving and merciful than we deserve.

Hospital/Stem Cell Update

2009-11-19T16:28:00.000-06:00

We are now sitting in the apheresis unit at MD Anderson. Sarah is currently hooked up to the apheresis machine for the stem cell harvest. Everything is going well. It is a painless procedure. Sarah is just cold because as the blood is filtered it takes on the temperature of the machine/room. I have her bundled up like an eskimo, though, so that problem has been alleviated. The procedure will take between three and four hours, so we've a while to wait yet. Although they will not know if they have enough stem cells until the morning, early indications based on the sheer volume collected indicate we might need to do it once more in the morning. Our biggest concern at the moment is that Sarah's fever has returned at a low grade level. The doctor's don't seem particularly concerned with this though. Her fever when last checked was at 99.3. I realize this is mild but any fever in this state is a major concern. She has been fever free for the better part of two days now. Her only remaining issue has been an elevated heart rate (100-125). So they have taken steps to test and eliminate things as to the cause. Sarah has been on some high-powered antibiotics via her IV catheter. They have gradually eliminated the drugs to the point where they only have her on one oral antibiotic. I talked to the nurse practitioner just a while ago, and he informed me that all of the cultures and tests they ran for infection came back clear. This is a good sign, but it is still bothersome to know the fever came back after eliminating some of the IV drugs. I don't know what the protocol will be from this point forward, but they are just monitoring the fever for now. Please pray for this major issue. Namely that the fever and any infection/issue associated with it will be taken away, and also that her heart rate would go down to a safer level. There could indeed be a correlation between the two. Sarah and I both are very ready to go home. Speaking for myself and most likely on her behalf as well, I am weak and tired. Every little set back seems like home moves farther away. Just keep us in your prayers. Pray for a speedy recovery and that Sarah's body would recouperate, and we could return safely home as soon as possible. Although its been 16 days since Sarah has been home, in reality the Lord has taken good care of us. There are so many others that are in such more dire situations than we are. Admittedly though, its hard to stay focused and not have a sinful, worried, impatient attitude. Pray for strength and peace, for patience and the grace to handle whatever situation arises, and ultimately for Sarah's safety and health. Also, don't forget to give praise for all that God has done for us along the way. He has been very merciful to us and has blessed us in so many ways. Not the least of these being blessed with such wonderful caring friends and family. All your texts, messages, comments, and prayers lift us up on a daily basis. There are many others dealing with tough situations in this broken down world as well. Please be in prayer for the family of Mr. Larry Gayle. For those of you that may have known him, he passed away yesterday afternoon after a year long battle with ALS ( Lou Gehrig's Disease). He and his family are friends of ours that have helped us a lot over the years in our cattle business. He recently lost his wife (about a month ago) to Huntington's disease coupled with cancer. Their family has really been through a lot in the past few years. Please keep them in your prayers. I was fortunate enough to see Mr. Larry just this past Sunday when I was home. As hard as it was, I am thankful the Lord granted me that opportunity. I know there are a lot of prayer concerns out there that I am not mentioning. This one just happens to be close to my heart at the moment. Thank you again for your love, prayers and suppport. Please continue to lift us up, we are doing the same for you.

--Josh

Back in the Hospital :(

2009-11-16T17:37:00.000-06:00

Some of you may already know this, but Sarah had to go to the emergency room last night and is now in a hospital room. Her fever had gotten up near 100.5 and her heart rate was running around 150. When she got to the ER they checked her blood pressure which had fallen pretty low. They hooked her up on fluids and later on oxygen. When they checked her blood, her hemoglobin had fallen to a level which required 2 units of blood. She was finally admitted to the hospital this morning around 3 a.m. She finally got through with the blood transfusion around 5. The doctors are worried about the possibility of infection especially since she literally has no white blood cells. They have taken all sorts of tests and cultures to check for the presence of an infection. We won't know the results of these for at least another day, but she is getting 3 different broad-spectrum antibiotics intravenously. If they do find an infection they will put her on an antibiotic specific to the infection. We hope this is not the case, and rather the fever is due to a side effect of the high doseage of neupogen she is getting to facilitate the stem cell harvest process. I made my way back to Houston this morning. I had gone home to try to get some work done and did get caught up on some things while home. Things have immproved somewhat since I have been here. Her fever had gone down to 98.4 when last checked. She's off the oxygen and her oxygen percentage is still 100%. I think the blood has helped out a lot. Her blood pressure which had fallen to 83/42, was up to 107/59. Her heart rate has been staying under 130 and is 105 at the moment. Thank you for the prayers and please continue to pray. Obviously, an infection at this point with no immunity is very dangerous. We know the Lord is in control of it, and even though its been a rough 24-48 hours, He continues to show us mercy and exceptional care. Sarah is very tired and homesick. Nerves play a big part in all of this when you are worried about infections, fever and the like and you are trying to keep your heart rate down, it does not work well. Pray for her spirits and strength as well as healing and care. Its hard when you are through with the chemo and want to be home, to be stuck back in here. It's all in due time though. The doctors say this should not have an adverse effect on the stem cell harvest so at least this may not all be for naught. Just continue to be in prayer for us, particularly Sarah. Thank you as always.

-Josh

What a Day

2009-11-14T20:15:00.000-06:00

We have had quite a day today. Unfortunately/fortunately it ended with me getting one unit of blood.

I had labs this morning and had my vital signs taken. Even with all the Neupogen I'm getting, I still have no white cells. This is only day 9 (first day of chemo is "day 1"), and this is the "crash" window. Still, I was hoping the white count would come up a little quicker with all this Neupogen. Fortunately, I don't have any bone pain from the Neupogen yet. Maybe it will kick in when the white cell production kicks in. My hemoglobin was all the way down to 7.2, and I was feeling it. I thought that would mean two units of blood, but they said only one was ordered. That made me feel a little better. My temperature was still elevated at 99.4 (so I still have this unexplained fever), and when they first checked my heart rate it was 150. They waited about 10 minutes and checked it again, and it came to around 130. I think it got up to 150 because I had just walked from the wheelchair to the chair in the vitals room. My mom has been carting me back and forth in a wheelchair since I've been so weak. My heart rate has since been running around 120-130. It's normally around 80-85. This could be because I needed blood, or it could be a side effect of the Neupogen.

I finished getting my blood transfusion around six, and I do feel much better. I guess one unit of blood after 4 rounds of chemo isn't much to complain about. Some people need multiple blood transfusions. I hope I'm not one of them. The effects of chemo are somewhat cumulative, so it's to be expected that my counts would drop lower this time around than they have before. Now I'm just hoping and praying I won't need to get any more blood. I'm not really worried about the safety of the blood, but it is unsettling to watch it going into your body.

It turns out, I'm not O negative. I'm actually O positive. Either the blood mobile told me wrong several years ago, or I remembered wrong. My dad is O+ and my mom is A+, so we thought it odd to begin with that I was negative. It's definitely possible because my brother is A-, but to have two children without the Rh factor would be unlikely. We just thought we were weird for all these years. Turns out, we're not weird at all. I was awfully nervous when the nurse showed up with O+, but she said she looked through my files and I'd been typed and screened several times throughout my lab work here. So it's official, I'm O positive. For all you O negative folks that offered to donate for me, thank you very much. Sorry I led you astray. My dad, mother-in-law, and possibly hubby are O+. I must now relinquish my title as the universal donor.

Hope everyone is having a great Saturday. Have a blessed Lord's Day tomorrow.

Fever Update

2009-11-13T14:33:00.000-06:00

As of midnight, my temp was 98.6. It has been around 99.0 all day today. I talked to the nurse practitioner at the stem cell clinic, and she wasn't concerned. If I have any symptoms or if the temperature gets up to 100.5 it's off to the doctor or the ER.

I'm scheduled to have labs drawn at 9:45 tomorrow and then will get the results from a nurse around 10. The results of that will determine whether or not I get a blood transfusion. If I must, I must, but we are sure praying that I won't need it. If I don't get blood, we may go home for the weekend and come back Sunday evening. That would be really nice.

Things are going okay otherwise. I'm very tired, and my appetite isn't great. That is all to be expected at this point in the post chemo cycle. Mom and I took a trip to Target today for some supplies, and I just waited in the car and read. It was nice to get out of the hotel room for a while and sit in the sun.

Thanks to all of you for praying :)

Got a Fever

2009-11-12T19:33:00.000-06:00

I'm running a low grade fever now, 99.6. If it gets to 100.5 or higher, I have to go to the ER. I'm not having any symptoms of being sick. I read online that one of the side effects of high doses of Neupogen is increased body temperature, so I'm hoping that's all it is. Please pray I'm not getting sick 1) because I don't have much in the way of white cells to fight infection right now, 2) so there will be no delays with this stem cell process. Thanks to everyone for checking the blog and being so faithful to pray.

Labs Today

2009-11-12T12:59:00.000-06:00

I had my routine lab work today. My red count is low, but not critical. But, with the stem cell harvesting, they will give me a blood transfusion if my hemoglobin gets below 8 in order to keep me from going into the "harvesting" low. It was 8 today. They are going to check again on Saturday. If it's lower than 8, I will get one unit of blood. If it's 7.5 or lower, I'll get 2. Normally, they would not transfuse until I was 7.5 or lower as long as I felt okay. I'm really hoping and praying that I won't need it, but if it must be done, so be it. Prayers would be appreciated!!

Quick Update for Today

2009-11-11T17:41:00.000-06:00

I had the PICC line removed from my arm today and the new CVC put in near my collar bone. It was relatively painless, other than now I feel like someone gave me a good punch in the shoulder. Other than that, I had to see a couple of doctors to go over the stem cell business. It's looking like they will harvest the stem cells on Monday, but it could be sooner (pray that it is!) if my cell counts cooperate. The "harvesting" is not a big deal. I will go to a little outpatient clinic and spend around 4 hours in bed hooked up to a machine watching TV. If they don't get enough stem cells the first time (pray that they do!), then I'll go back each day until they do.

My dad came today and took Josh with him when he left. Tonight will be the first night we've spent apart since we've been married. My mom is here with me. We are all tired at this point and ready to be home, but still so thankful that things are going well. Hopefully, we will be home by the beginning of next week - for good!

Finally Done with Chemo!

2009-11-10T09:32:00.000-06:00

I feel like I escaped from prison last night! Chemo ran out at around 10 pm, and we were discharged shortly after. We stayed at MD Anderson's hotel last night (where my mom has been staying), and we're going to just hang around Houston and rest for today rather than go all the way back to Louisiana. Tomorrow, I will start taking the Neupogen, have my CVC inserted, and start having the special labs drawn for the stem cell harvesting. We're hoping we can get an extension on this hotel room because it's so convenient (connected to the hospital by a skybridge), but if not, we'll be moving down the street to a Holiday Inn. Prayers that we get to stay here at this hotel would be much appreciated. Just a few more days, and this part of the process will be behind us.

It is hard to believe that 4 cycles of chemo have passed so quickly and so smoothly. I warned Josh at the beginning of this hospital stay that I would likely have an emotional break down when the chemo finally ran out, and I did. What I have gone through is nothing compared to what most are going through. I've barely lost any weight, I haven't thrown up the first time, I've been able to keep eating for the most part and keep working here and there. I am so thankful to God for His provision for us throughout this, and thankful for all of your prayers and support. We still have a long road ahead, but the worst is behind us.

Stem Cell Harvesting Approved

2009-11-09T14:30:00.000-06:00

We just got the call that we have verbal approval from the insurance company for the stem cell harvesting. There are still some details to iron out, but it looks like I may be discharged tonight. We're not sure yet if we will hit the road back to Louisiana late tonight or stay in the hotel tonight and head home early in the morning. Either way, we're looking at a quick trip home on Tuesday and coming back to Houston on Wednesday. I will have my PICC line removed from my arm then and the central line put in some time after. I'll start getting two Neupogen shots a day on Wednesday morning. Once my counts are up, they will do the harvesting. This could last a couple of days or so. I'm guessing I will come home for good around the 16th or sometime later that week.

I'm glad we got the approval, but I am a little nervous about everything to come and would appreciate your prayers. The central line shouldn't be too big of a deal. There are some risks with getting two Neupogen a day (including blood clots), and I just found out I'll be having an EKG and a chest x-ray today. We are going to be very busy. Not to mention, we will be stuck in Houston for another week plus now (and I'm not sure who "we" is at this point). Please pray for all of this to go well, for our safe travel, hotel arrangements, etc to work out. We've been praying that if this procedure was the Lord's will, then the approval would come through. I know that He will work out the remaining details now.

LAST ONE

2009-11-06T22:08:00.000-06:00

Just a quick update to let everyone know where we stand. Sarah was admitted to the room about 6 p.m. yesterday evening. We are on a different floor and wing than we normally have been. The previous three times we have been on the lymphoma floor, and have managed to be in the same general area all three times. This time we are on the melanoma and sarcoma floor. They take alot of the lymphoma and other floor overruns. Our doctor told us there were 13 admissions to the lymphoma floor yesterday alone, which may be why we had such and extended wait. They got the final round started at about 9:00 last night. The first day passed by pretty much without incident. Sarah has been feeling relatively good, and she has managed to continue to eat. It looks to me that things are going a little better than last round thus far. The Lord has been very gracious to us and some ways it even seems like it was only yesterday we were just getting started with the chemo. In comparison to what some people go through, we have definitely had it easy. Still, it has been a lot to deal with and we still have more to face. One of the major concerns with this round is actually what will follow its completion. Dr. Billings has been adamant about the pursuit of stem cell harvest immediately following this last round of chemo. He wants to go ahead and do it in the event that a stem cell transplant be needed in the future. This would be necessary if this ever did reoccur. It is not the normal protocol for stem cells to be harvested without a need for a transplant immediately. However, Dr. Billings wants to do it now for multiple reasons. First of all, He feels very confident that he can get very good clean stem cells now since there has never been any evidence of the cancer in the bone marrow where the cells are made. This would eliminate the potential for being unable to do this in the future and having to find a donor. Secondly, if in the future this transplant was necessary, Sarah would have to undergo chemo again in order to harvest the cells anyway, so it could potentially prevent a round of chemo. Although, chemo would be necessary for a transplant anyway. Even though this thought process has been in place since the beginning, it seems, once again, that all the proper planning has not been taken into account. This process normally takes 4-6 weeks to meet insurance approval. This is a must since it is very costly. However, they just sent the application in 2 days ago, and the procedure would start as soon as Sarah's counts start to come up in about 10 days. So, a lot is contingent upon all of this getting approved by the insurance. As I said it is all merely a precautionary measure, and a good idea in my opinion, but this may or may not come to fruition depending on how quickly the approval comes back. Sarah would have to have the PICC line removed from her arm and a CVC line under her collarbone put in place in order to harvest the stem cells. It also requires double the rates of Neupogen injections, as well as an extended stay at the hospital. If they do it they would have to start a lot of this the day after the chemo ends, so in order for Sarah not to have to go through anything extra, the approval would need to come by Monday. They want to keep us here in the hospital until the harvest is done in order to manage Sarah's counts closely. However, we may be able to go home a few days and then come back. Just pray that the Lord's will be done with this matter. If the stem cell harvest be necessary, then let it come to fruition. If not, then allow us to come home quickly and without them doing any thing excessive in pointlessly initiating the process. The Lord had taken care of us thus far in these matters, and I have faith He will continue to do so. As always thank you for your love, support, and most of all, your prayers.

Josh

Here We Sit

2009-11-05T08:50:00.000-06:00

Everything went fine yesterday with the tests and appointments, but as usual, no bed available. Hopefully they will discharge someone today and let me in! Aside from that, everything is going fine.

This stem cell harvesting process is quite a bit more involved than we had anticipated, and this may put us here a good bit longer than we planned. I will have a central line put in (sort of like the PICC in my arm, but in my collar bone region) sometime during this round of chemo. This is a "surgical" procedure, which I'm not looking forward to, but my mom tells me it's not much worse than having the PICC put into my arm. The central line is bigger than the PICC and prevents damaging the stem cells when they are taken out. Once I'm discharged from the hospital after chemo, we will come home for a couple of days to pack, then head back to Houston. I will get TWO Neupogen shots a day to stimulate the stem cells, and get specialized lab work everyday (which cannot be done in BR) to see how many stem cells I'm making. Once they get to a level where they can be harvested, I will be hooked up to an apheresis machine for a few hours to have them taken out of my blood. This may need to be done for two or three days in a row to collect enough stem cells.

This means I will basically be sitting in a hotel room for about a week after chemo getting labs checked every day until the stem cell harvesting starts. The stem cell harvesting itself should only take a couple of days. At least we're right here at the end. I'm really not liking the idea of being here so long and coming home (hopefully) just days before Thanksgiving, but at least I'm almost done and should still be able to enjoy Thanksgiving. After all, we do have SO MUCH for which to be thankful :) I should still get to eat, but I probably won't have time to cook like I had hoped.

Josh's Comic Relief Corner:
Yesterday at the doctor's office, we overheard a woman saying she was going to see a "germinologist." If anyone knows what this is or would like to leave a comment defining it for us, we would much appreciate it :) Not sure if it's germ or German or what...but she mentioned the need to be cleansed.

Counts are Back Up

2009-10-28T17:22:00.000-05:00

As of my check up yesterday, my counts are back on the rise. Platelets are still a little low, but have come up since my last check up. Everything should be fine in time to start round 4 (the LAST ROUND!) next week. Thanks to everyone for the prayers.

We are scheduled to be back at MD Anderson at 9 AM on Wednesday of next week (November 4th). I'm meeting with a doctor that does stem cell harvesting, and they are going to run an echocardiogram and pulmonary function test. Nothing major. Some time after finishing chemo, I will have stem cells harvested as an insurance policy. After those appointments, I'll have the standard lab work, see the doctor, wait for a room routine.

I've been feeling pretty good the last few days. I checked out a laptop yesterday and started working again today. I should be able to work through Tuesday of next week now. At least I won't be bored!

Thanks to everyone for the Happy Anniversary wishes. We did have a nice anniversary given the circumstances. Josh picked up some delicious lunch, and we ate the top layer of our wedding cake and some coconut cake (that I actually had the energy to make) for dessert. The wedding cake was still just as good as it was at the wedding. I'm very blessed to have such a wonderful hubby, and I look forward to many, many more anniversaries with him.

Our yummy cake :)

Wipe Out!

2009-10-23T12:43:00.000-05:00

Had a check up this morning. Counts are very nearly wiped out. I basically have no white cells, which means the daily Neupogen injections continue. The first and second rounds of chemo, I think I had to get 6 or 7 shots total each round. Looks like I might need all 10 this round. Thankfully, I'm not experiencing any bone pain yet. My platelets, hematocrit, etc were very low, but not critical yet. I don't think I'll need a transfusion this round (please pray I don't!), but I'm concerned for next round since this is cumulative. For those of you familiar with the medical stuff, my hematocrit was 8.6 today compared to 11.1 on Tuesday. Dr. Billings told me he won't recommend a transfusion, as long as I have no symptoms, until I drop to 7. I'm asymptomatic for the most part now, so I think I'll hang in there. White blood cell count dropped from 2.0 to 0.3 (not enough to even say I have any really) and platelets dropped from 169 (low end of normal range) to 94. I'm slightly concerned that my counts may not recover well enough for me to begin the next round on time, so please pray for this also.

In other news, I returned to work from home yesterday. Shortly after lunch, my computer crashed. Now I have to send it off to Houston for repair. There is a laptop available at the office that I can check out, but now my counts are so low that I can't go into the office to log onto the network and get it set up. So it's likely I won't be working Monday. I have another check up on Tuesday, so maybe my counts will be up by then, at least out of the critical level.

We're going to have a very quiet, quarantined weekend! And sadly, Sunday is our one year wedding anniversary. I'm so neutropenic I can't even get fresh flowers! Amazingly enough, I'm still in a very good mood and feeling very well given how anemic I am. I'm really not tired, weak, short of breath, or anything at all. Still, I would appreciate your prayers that my good frame of mind continues. It certainly helps me handle the thought of going back for one more round of this. Boots and sweater weather helps too! Hope you all enjoy the beautiful weekend!

I Really Like Nice People

2009-10-22T19:00:00.000-05:00

In my first post of our last trip to Houston (click here), I mentioned the man that offered to mail some scarves to me. They came yesterday! His name is Joe Clark, and he started making these while his wife was in the hospital being treated for lymphoma. Now he just makes them to give to people. He made a special stop on the way home from Texas to Florida to buy LSU fabric to make one for me. How nice is that? Boy was I excited. I wear a similar type of scarf/hat every day. This style basically ties like a do-rag or bandanna, but they are much nicer. They are really well sewn and well made. I couldn't resist posting some pics...

Here's one for Saturday...

And one for hunting...

And one for Halloween (think I might be a biker now!). The skulls have orange glitter eyes. I tied this one and the next to show how they look tied. I'd take a picture of myself in one, but I look quite Halloweeny myself today :)

Here's my Christmas scarf I mentioned in the earlier post...

And finally a little country one with cherries on it. Suits me well I think.

Aren't these cute?! Thanks Mr. Joe and Mrs. Roz Clark for brightening my day at MD Anderson that day and yesterday when I received the package. No telling how many people they have touched through this. I was truly blessed.

Geaux Tigers!!!

Just a little update...

2009-10-20T19:29:00.000-05:00

Had my first check up today, and things are going fine. All my blood counts crept up a little from yesterday. This puts me in a better position for the downward swing over the next few days.

Many of you have asked about feeding us. We are in good shape in that regard right now, but we will certainly let you all know if we need something. We have too many friends and family members that are good cooks to pass it up. My mom comes nearly every day to give me my daily Neupogen injection, and with that comes lots of food. I can't speak as a mother, but from what they tell me, it makes moms happy to be able to feed their kids. Today, I got brownies, tea cakes from Maw maw, white beans, biscuits, and homemade soup. We should be set for several days. I also try to cook at least a couple of times in between chemo rounds to keep things more normal. Although mommy doesn't let me play with sharp objects while my platelets are low :) We greatly appreciate everything everyone has done for us, and we will not hesitate to ask if there is something we need!

Home Again, Home Again...

2009-10-19T16:04:00.000-05:00

Well we finally made it home. It was nice to ride in the pretty weather and sunshine after being stuck in the hospital room for so long. This round was not quite as good as last round, and I think that's because I went into it already feeling not so good. My appetite did return fairly well on the trip home. After eating a Happy Meal for lunch, I made Josh stop for more fries and some ice cream about half an hour later. It has become a joke for he and Mr. Ken to pick on me about how much I eat once I start eating again. I don't mind. It's nice to feel somewhat normal in that regard. All in all, I'm feeling fairly well. I'm a little tired because I'm anemic already. And as Josh explained in the last post, my white cells are gone already. I just keep reminding myself that this is all part of it, and that means the chemo is doing its job. I'm thankful to be healthy enough to withstand the treatment.

I don't think there is really any news for me to post. Josh has been great about blogging while in the hospital and keeping everyone informed of prayer needs. I sure do love my hubby :)

We're scheduled to head back for the LAST ROUND on November 4th. With my counts this low this early, there is a chance that they would need to delay the chemo to give me more time to recover. Pray this doesn't happen. I'm ready to be done!

"Great is Thy Faithfulness" is my favorite hymn, and I often find myself meditating on the lyrics to give me the strength to get through the chemo. The Lord truly does give us "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow." The Lord sustains us every step of the way. Thanks as always for your calls, text messages, e-mails, and PRAYERS!

ONE MORE DAY

2009-10-18T11:52:00.000-05:00

Well, we have finally reached the start of the last 24 hour period of the chemo. Sarah is feeling a little better today than yesterday, but still just really drained. Thank you for all of your prayers, she really felt pretty good late yesterday evening and was able to enjoy some supper and a little time of feeling good before she went to sleep. She and I both are as ready to go home as we have ever been since our coming over here originally. I was able to get outside some yesterday and enjoy the nice weather, which was very refreshing. Hopefully, we can line everything up with getting supplies, medicenes, and whatever else we have to get together done this evening in order to expedite our escape in the morning. Pray she has a good day today and "enjoy" her time a little bit before we go home. Pray as well that everything goes well on our trip home tomorrow. Sarah's counts have already dipped into the neutropenic stage, meaning she has absolutely no immunity. This is the earliest this has happened in all of the previous rounds. Obviously, she is highly susceptible to infection. She has been receiving Neupogen injections to stimulate her white count, but she cannot begin these until 24 hours after this round of chemo has ended. Otherwise, the neupogen could have an adverse effect on her stem cells. So, we will be experiencing a lot longer time of Sarah having no immunity. Please pray for her protection and safety in this regard. This also means that her red blood cell counts, although looking okay at the moment, have the potential to drop to a dangerous level, where upon she would require blood transfusions. Pray this can again be avoided. They just hung the last 12-hour bag of chemo, so we are officially on the last day now. Pray as well that Sarah would be able to recover quickly, and that she would be able to experience some form of normal life when we get home. I think that pretty much all aspects of normal life have disappeared now. When you go home and you have to have your temperature checked constantly, can't eat normally, get daily shots, take as many as nearly 20 pills on some days, can't come in contact with people. have daily port flushes, have blood taken twice a week, have to have your arm wrapped in saran wrap every time you shower to protect the ports, have to sit and not do anything all day, and you are 26 and living in an apartment, normal life can quickly disappear. The apartment becomes just another medical facility seemingly. Its not nearly as bad for me since I am able to go to work and get outside. Although you never can mentally detach from things, it at least provides a change of scenery. The period in between this round and the last was particularly bad in this regard for Sarah due to a few things. One of them being that the staff here at MD Anderson, failed to get Sarah's work release papers filled out and returned despite the fact they had about 16 days to do it. This meant Sarah was never able to work from home on her computer as she has been able to do. This has been at least allowing her to stay occupied during the workday hours. Also, due to the fact that we had to return a few days early for this round, and her counts took so long to come up, she had only a couple days of normal activity in between the two rounds. Pray that the Lord works in all of these areas, and that in particular, Sarah can remain healthy and be able to enjoy some of the in between time without having to think about coming back. Thank you for all of your prayers. Please continue to lift us up. Hope you have a blessed day.

Round 3 Halfway Point Update

2009-10-17T10:46:00.000-05:00

We reached the halfway point of round three last night. So far it is not going as well as the last round went, but still better thaan the first. Sarah has not had any headaches, but she has experienced some nausea. It hasn't been serious, but it has definitely suppressed her appetite. She has been very tired, both physically and emotionally I think. Her counts never recovered to the point they did in between rounds one and two, so I guess this is to be expected. Emotionally, I think we are both just very ready to be home. We've been here since Monday, and we, speaking for myself anyway, are just drained from all the tests and treatment. It doesn't make it any easier for me to be cooped up in a hospital room when we finally get some gorgeous weather to enjoy. Oh well, it will all be over soon enough I guess. The Lord knows what we can handle. Overall Sarah is feeling quite poor today. She has been up a little this morning. She took a walk after managing to eat some cereal for breakfast. Please keep her in your prayers, as there is really nothing you can do medically for an all over bad feeling. Spiritually speaking though, the Lord can take care of it. We really appreciate all of your love, prayers, and support. There are many others going through the same things (or worse) that we are going through. I've always been concious and sympathetic of the situations before but not to the degree I am now. If it weren't for the prayers, and most of all the grace and mercy of our God, some things would be awfully hard to bear. Praise and thanks to Him though for seeing us through and providing us with our every need. Blessings abound. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. If the weather is as pretty as it is here, I hope you have some time to spend enjoying it and the beauty of the Lord's creation.

-Josh

Round 3 Underway

2009-10-15T16:03:00.000-05:00

We were finally admitted to the hospital last night around 8:30. They got the chemo started about 11:30 p.m., so we are over halfway through with the first day. Sarah's response to it thus far has been somewhere in between the first and second rounds. Her fatigue is greater than the last round, but all in all, she is still fairing much better than the first one. So far, she's not had any headaches or nausea, but seems to have a decreased appetite a little sooner than she did last time. Still, she is doing well and we are very thankful for the Lord's watchful care over her. Please continue to pray for her through this treatment. I'm sure you all know the needs by now. :) It is an amazing thing to have "proof" of the Lord's miraculous work. Any medical explanation for the circumstances surrounding this sickness and the healing that has taken place before any of the chemo started has been thrown out the window. When you really think about all the circumstances surrounding this and step back and look at what has unfolded thus far, you cannot help but be amazed at the Lord's merciful care of Sarah. First consider the type of cancer-a non-hodgkens lymphoma that is blood born, very rare, aggressive, and very rare. It presents in the outer portion of the nasal cavity, not normal, and causes a physical restriction of air flow causing it to be noticed. It has been my understanding that normally when a lymphoma of this type shows up in the nasal region it is normally many other places already and is causing other symptoms. This air restriction had been going on for months. First seeming like a stuffy nose due to allergies in the spring, but becoming more obvious that there was no other congestion present, making a physical blockage apparent. This all means the tumor had been there for months, unbeknownst to us, but not to the Lord. This type of cancer in all other cases has been found to have a proliferation rate of 90-95 percent, meaning that 90-95 percent of the cancerous cells present are surviving and dividing within a standard, specified period of time. This is very high and indicative of the highly aggressive nature of the cancer. However, as you know, when Sarah's tumor was studied it was revealed to have a proliferation rate of only 50 percent. Again, no medical explanation. Also, the tumor appeared to be encapsulated by normal tissue. This is very significant because when the ENT looked at the tumor before removing it, it appeared benign. Consequently, when he removed it, he did not biopsy the tumor first, but rather removed it in its entirety. Obviously the Lord was guiding this as well. First of all, medical research shows that in cases of this nature if a tumor is biopsied first, it can actually release the cancerous cells to other parts of the body, particularly in blood born cancers like this one. Many doctors do choose to biopsy a tumor if it appears malignant though, so they will know how aggressive to be with its removal. Again this tumor appeared to be benign so it was simply removed, non-aggressively. Yet, when Sarah was scanned later there was no evidence of the cancer there, meaning the ENT had gotten it all. The Lord is a master surgeon. This cancer, plasmablastic lymphoma, has large impact on bone marrow and blood cells as is obvious by its name. Despite this in all CT scans, PET scans, MRIs, x-rays, bone scans, blood samples, bone marrow biopsies, spinal fluid biopsies, does not appear to be present. A blood born lymphoma not present in the blood or bone marrow (where blood is made) as far as they can tell...interesting. This may have something to do with the fact that the disease is driven by the epstein-barr virus. The same virus that causes mononucleosis. Dr. Billings, our baton rouge oncologist (who is also a strong Christian, I might add), suggested that it may indeed be the case that Sarah's body actually captured the virus upon entry to the nose and encapsulated the cancerous cells that formed, albeit this occurence is very rare. Significance? When most people encounter epstein-barr virus, they get mononucleosis. Some never get sick at all due to having a built-in antibody to the virus. A very small percentage of people do not have antibodies, do not get sick, and instead the virus drives this type of lymphoma. The majority of these people have some type of immune deficiency, auto-immune disorder, or in the greatest percentage HIV. Obviously, this is not the case for Sarah making her case of a rare cancer that much more rare (only about 6th known in US). So, the Lord's care for her and his graciousness in good health have made this situation that much more unique. This health issue is a possible explanation for her body's response to the virus upon its arrival as well as the slow growth of it after it entered her body and caused the cancer. The exact link between the virus and this lymphoma is not known, but there does appear to be one. Sarah's biopsy did reveal high prevalence of the epstein-barr virus. Now about this point in the story I really started wondering about all of these circumstances. It has been apparant that the Lord has been in special control of this situation from the beginning. Consequently I really had no doubt about the amazing details surrounding it. However, when you go to the world's leading cancer research hospital, and they keep giving you dumbfounded looks, you tend to get a little suspicous. Unfortunately, "the Lord took it away" or "it's the hand of the Lord at work" don't hold much medical credibility with some doctors. So after they explained to us that this diagnosis does not clinically fit, and its very rare, and we want to re-run the pathology on the biopsy to determine the cancer type (which was confirmed), and there is no evidence of cancer in any test, and the growth rate is much lower than expected, etc, etc., the question was posed by many people...well, maybe its not her sample. Good question. Answer-"We have no way of determining that." One person with whom I discussed this is was Eric Hayes. He is a very close friend of mine and did not want to see Sarah have to deal with the chemo, as none of us did. He was discussing some of the dental side effects of the treatments, as He is a dentist, and posed the question as others had- If none of it fits why don't they see if there was a sample mix up. Well the obvious answer to this was that it was unlikely and due to the aggressiveness of the cancer, time availability would prevent this, and as the doctors had said, "there's no way to be sure." This discussion however sparked a bit of brainstorming and hypothesising no doubt spurred by God. In order to put an end to the discussion, since I had been through it so much, I said the epstein-barr virus was present but the report didn't mention HIV being present, meaning it probably came from a healthy person, right? Eric said you should get them to check on that or blood type the sample or something. That's when it dawned on me, "If there is normal tissue present in the sample (which the path report had said there was normal lymphatic nasal tissue surrounding the cancerous cells (also proving a correct region of origin of the biopsy)), then why can they not just DNA test it? Eric and I agreed there was no reason this should not be possible, and there was no harm in pursuing it while still starting the first round of chemo. Best case scenario-it's not Sarah's tissue, she has no cancer, no chemo. Worst case- it simply "proves" that the Lord is responsible for all that has taken place. After much thought and prayer, and ultimately a frustration in the hesitancy and indecision of the doctors (which at the same time I appreciated) to start chemo on a seemingly healthy person, we posed this very question. After a blank stare and about 10 second pause the doctor replied, "That's a great idea. I don't think thats ever been done before. Let me call pathology." He later returned and said they had never done it but thought it would be possible. We made the call to start the chemo since all the signs pointed to the fact it was Sarah's biopsy, and the faith that the Lord was leading us here for a reason. A lot of it was Sarah's faith to be honest, I desperately wanted to save her from the chemo, I was looking for an "out." Sarah said she had absolutely no doubt that not only was the sample hers, the Lord had indeed taken the cancer away and that the treatment was the thing to do...so we started. As you know, the DNA test did indeed prove that the biopsied tissue was Sarah's. So, any doubt that the Lord has not been at work in an amazing way is put to rest. i'll grant you that good health, which is a blessing from God, and diet play a big role in all aspects of this process. This is why the Lord gave us brains I guess. Ultimately, however, you cannot look at this situtation and tell me that the Lord is in someway, any way, detached from it. His hand has been in it from the beginning long before we ever knew anything about this illness. He has been healing, and I firmly believed, healed Sarah before we even knew there was a danger. His hand has guided the doctors' hands, surgeon's hands, and our path to getting us to this point in our lives. We've still a long way to go, the road may not be easy, but the blessings and God's graciousness in all our lives in abundant. We have much to be thankful for, and our praise should be great to our Lord who is in control of all of these things. I know I've rambled on for quite sometime now. It's not all for what it appears to be either. Truth be known, I have to remind myself of all that the Lord has done everyday, even though I am right here in the middle of it. I guess I just thought it would be a good idea to lay it all out in one place. Unfortunately, I am sure that in my sin, I have omitted some details that play into this in a great way. I am also equally sure there are things that have gone on that I am too blind to see. Still I know with even greater surety that the Lord reigns supreme, is greatly to be praised, and is the Great Physician-to Him be the glory forever and ever! Your prayers make up a huge part or this, for He hears the petitions of His children, and we all reap the benefits of His grace and mercy. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I ask that you continue to fervently pray and to not neglect to see what the Lord is doing all around us everyday. Even though it may seem as though a lot is falling apart, He is still in control.

As I said earlier this may all sound well and good, but truth be known I am very weak. I'll admit I lack faith sometimes, especially with pending scans and treatments, and I fail to believe in the darkness that which the Lord has shown me in the light. Your prayers play a huge role in this strengthening as well. If any of you know me well at all, you probably know through my expressly telling you or through simple deduction that I am dealing with one of my greatest fears with Sarah's illness. However, the Lord is teaching me a lot. I hate being in a situation I can do nothing about. I have been blessed enough to be able to handle lots of things and be successful in different areas of my life. This is not always best. Its hard to learn to trust God if you still think there is something you can do yourself in a situation. I haven't learned yet. Fortunately for all of us He is patient. Most people would probably say I am fairly humble as it is....maybe not, I don't know. Humility in its fullest extent is hard to grasp, I haven't. It's an important ideal to be grasped, an important quality to behold. Humility fosters trust, trust leads to fear, or so it seems. As I said we've a long way to go, in more ways than one. May the Lord bless you today. He has certainly blessed us, much of it through your prayers.
Thank you as always. -- Josh

James 4:10- Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.

Tumor, I am your father...

2009-10-14T11:23:00.000-05:00

Okay, bad Darth Vader reference there...

All the scan results came back absolutely 100% clear! Yay! Praise God! And the PET and CT tubes were short, which means I had no claustrophobia! We also got the DNA test results back today, and the tumor was mine. As much as we would have liked to find out that it was all a mix up and this was over, it's nice to know that I have not been getting needless chemotheraphy. Josh also brought up that now no one can say, "Well, maybe you never really had cancer to begin with." There's no doubt that I had it, and no doubt that as of now, it's gone, and no doubt WHO took care of it. I think it will stay that way too.

The doctor was very excited to see the scans all clear. They are still very confident that I will beat this, but given the fact that it is an agressive type of cancer, it would not have been surprising to find something on the scans if the chemo were not working. So the chemo is doing it's job. I will probably start radiation about 3 weeks after chemo ends (the end of November). We're still not exactly sure how long it will last, but my oncologist here thinks about 17 treatments (3 weeks). We were originally told 4-6 weeks, so somewhere within that range is what we're expecting. The radiation should not be too bad, and I shouldn't lose my hair again. That means I should have some spikey hair by Christmas :) As of now, I'm planning to do all the radiation in Baton Rouge.

Now we're on the waiting list for a hospital room, which we will hopefully get this afternoon sometime. That would mean we could possibly get out of here by Sunday evening!

God continues to bless us tremendously, and we give Him all the glory and praise for everything He has done. We really could not ask for things to be going any better. Thank you all for your continued prayers, love, and support!

Great Day!

2009-10-12T20:34:00.000-05:00

We had a great trip over to Houston today. My breakfast stuck with me, and I didn't get miserably hungry until right after the PET scan ended. The scan went extremely well. The tube was only about 3 feet long, so I didn't get claustrophobic AT ALL. God is so good. We have to be at the radiology center for the CT scan at 7:40 tomorro morning. The CT will probably be a good bit more claustrophobia inducing, so please say a prayer for me. We will get all the test results on Wednesday.

We met some very nice people today. While waiting for my lab work this afternoon, a man stopped me in the waiting room to ask me if I like wearing scarves most of the time. I told him yes, and he then explained to me that he learned to make these little scarf hats like I wear while his wife was in the hospital (also being treated for lymphoma). He said he makes them and gives them away to people, so he took down our address and offered to mail a few to me. He's going to send me a red, Christmas hat. That just made my day. Red is my favorite color, and I am a bit of a Christmas nut :) There was another couple there (also with the wife being treated for lymphoma) who said that she is treating hers entirely by diet. She has steadily been improving for 6 months without getting any chemo! When all my treatment is over, I will be hitting the diet hard!

I met another lady while waiting for my chest x-ray whose husband is a farmer. They live in Terrell, TX, and they have corn, wheat, and...cows! We had a long talk about how much we hated wild hogs. It was quite funny. She has been treated for lung cancer and now has one lung that is not in the best shape. They gave her 9 months to live on one lung. That was 5 years ago! Say a prayer for her. Her name is Henri.

We had a nice dinner at Olive Garden when we left the hospital. It was nice to enjoy a good meal while I still can! Now we are stuffed and getting sleepy. Thanks for your prayers today. God is so good to us!

Headed Back to Houston Tomorrow

2009-10-11T18:31:00.000-05:00

Although it seems incredibly soon, we are heading back to Houston in the morning! As I have already mentioned, I will have all the scans repeated this time. This means we will be in Houston for at least one full week this time. This is standard protocol to "restage" the cancer. As we know, it was the lowest possible stage it could already. As far as I'm concerned, since Dr. Peters cut that thing out of my nose, they could have just called it stage zero. But, it's stage 1, and since I don't expect them to find anything on these scans, I guess they will still call it stage 1. I'm not sure how that works. Typically, they would like to have a tumor to watch so that they now the chemo is shrinking something. Since they don't have that, I guess they'll just check and see if they find anything new. I don't see why they would.

For those of you that would like to pray for us at specific times of the day for specific things (and we would really appreciate if you did), here is the schedule for the next 3 days:

Monday

8:00 AM Leave for Houston. Please pray for safe travel for Josh and me tomorrow and for my parents on Wednesday morning. They are coming into town to get the test results with us on Wednesday.
9:30 AM Start my 6 hour fast for the PET scan. This will turn into more like a 9 hour fast since the PET scan won't end until after 5:30 I think. Pray that I can survive without food! My appetite has been great lately.
3:00 PM CHEST X-ray
3:15 PM Lab work
3:30 PM PET Scan Prep
4:00 PM PET/CT INJECTION & LOCALIZATION
5:30 PM PET LYMPHOMA RESTAGE
I'm not exactly sure what will happen in this 3:30-5:30 window. I don't know how long the PET scan will take, if it's open or closed, if I'll have anxiety meds (I did at Mary Bird Perkins for my first scan), etc. I am claustrophobic, so please pray for that. However, PET scans are quiet unlike MRI's, so I will probably do okay. We are going to have a very long day tomorrow!

Tuesday
7:40 AM Check-in/Prep for CT Scan
9:40 AM CT Scan, Lymphoma Screening
Once again, not sure how long this will last. Please pray for my anxiety and claustrophobia issues. After this, I should have the rest of the day off, so I'm hoping I can work from my hotel room. Then, Josh and I are going to dinner! I am putting this in the blog post so that he can't back out! Just kidding honey. In all seriousness, please pray that I don't have any reactions to the contrast or anything like that which would prevent us from having a nice evening out. I will likely be all out of white cells again on our 1 year anniversary (October 25th!!!), so this will be our little anniversary outing. Although, I'm already scheming a trip in the spring to celebrate our belated anniversary and being in remission, because I do plan to be in remission :)

Wednesday
7:30 AM Lab work
9:30 AM See the doctor to get the lab results which will tell us if everything is okay to start chemo. Most importantly, we will get the results of the scans from Monday and Tuesday. Please pray that all this is clear. I truly feel like it will be, for the rest of my life really, and the doctors have given us no reason to expect otherwise. Still, waiting is so difficult.

I am scheduled to be admitted to begin chemo Wednesday night. It would be wonderful if that actually happened this time. It has been our experience so far that they don't have a bed when they tell us they will, and I always end up checked in the following day. Please pray that I get a bed whenever the Lord wills. Even though we've grown very impatient waiting for a bed the last 2 rounds, His timing has really been perfect.

And of course, there are the usual things to pray for during chemo: no nausea or headaches, good appetite and finding foods that are appealing, patience, no boredom, etc. Round 2 went so much better than round 1, as did the last few weeks of recovery. We are so thankful for your prayers and give all the glory to God for bringing us through this. One specific praise I wanted to mention is that I came nowhere close to needing blood or platelets this round! Please keep those prayers coming!

This is turning into an incredibly long post, but I shall ramble on! I have been feeling so good these past few days that I've felt practically normal. We were able to have dinner with Josh's family Friday night at the Hitching Post in Kentwood, and I ate fried seafood for the first time in ages! Yummy! I went shopping Saturday with Mom and Holly, which was the first time I had been in a store since I started treatment. We went to church at both Plains and Pine Grove today and had a double blessing :) It was so great to worship and fellowship with everyone, and we really appreciated the special time of prayer at Pine Grove. It has been so many months since we were able to visit our Pine Grove family, and it was really great to see all of you! We will be praying for your revival meetings this week, and hope God moves in a mighty way. Sorry we didn't get to visit more at dinner with y'all! I went to visit my grandmother and new baby cousin.

Now we are packing up our bags and trying to get things together to leave in the morning! Hopefully we'll be home by Monday/Tuesday of next week. Three down, one to go after this! Thank you all for your continued prayers, love, and support. We love you all so much!

Good Check Up Today

2009-10-06T16:02:00.000-05:00

Had a check up today. Whites are back into normal range. Still a little on the anemic side, but on the road to recovery there too. Praise God, no blood or platelets needed this round! Only one more Neupogen shot for this round (tomorrow), and I get a break from that. Thank goodness, because the bone pain started today. Luckily, it's not too bad. We should have a fairly normal weekend before heading back to Houston on Monday morning. I have PET/CT scans scheduled for Monday and Tuesday, and a doctor's appointment and hopefully admission to the hospital on Wednesday. It's hard to believe I'm only a week away from starting round 3, but I'm glad to be getting it done! Please be in prayer that all the tests come back clear. We are fully expecting that they will.

I had a nice lunch with Mom at Copeland's today, then dessert with my cousin and her husband. Nice to have a normal day. Now I have a fully tummy, and I'm tired! Time for a nap :)

Still Hanging in There

2009-10-03T15:03:00.000-05:00

I guess it's about time for an update. I'm still doing really well. I'm eating well, much better than last round. Food does not taste as odd to me this time around. I have virtually no side effects other than being a little tired and a little weak the last couple of days. I'm in that day 10 to day 14 period where my white cells will basically bottom out and reds will get very low. That means I'm practically quarantined this weekend. I saw Dr. Billings at Mary Bird Perkins yesterday, and he's pleased with my progress thus far. I'm not in any danger of needing a blood transfusion or platelets right now, and I don't think I will reach that point this round.

I'm still waiting to get my paperwork back from Anderson so I can go back to work (from home). Hopefully that will happen on Tuesday or Wednesday. My primary doctor there is on vacation to be home with his new baby, and apparently he is the only one that can sign the papers (or so they tell me). I was hoping to start working again last Thursday or yesterday, so I'm a little frustrated with that. However, I've had two doctors' appointments this week, and I had to go get my cheek swabbed yesterday for the DNA test. I wouldn't have been able to get much work done anyway.

More on the DNA test...
We posted on this a while back (http://sarahphares.blogspot.com/2009/09/here-we-go.html). We asked the doctors at MD Anderson if they could DNA test the tumor from my nose since all the doctors I have seen have said, "You're not supposed to have this." The chance that there was a mix up of my tissue with some other person's somewhere along the line is very slim, but still worth checking. So I had my cheek swabbed yesterday, which was hilarious. I had to sign a form for a paternity test because that's the only form they have. I had to sign my name on the "2nd alleged father" line. I told the lady that swabbed me, "I bet I'm the first' 2nd alleged father' named 'Sarah' that you've ever had." We should get the results from that sometime next week. Pray for the Lord's will to be done in that situation.

Have a great weekend everyone. Geaux Tigers!

There's No Place Like Home!

2009-09-29T17:11:00.000-05:00

We made it home around 3 this afternoon. I'm so glad to be home! We had a safe trip, I ate well the whole way home, and we only had to make one bathroom stop! And it was a super clean bathroom. :)

I'm really feeling okay right now. I'm tired more than anything. My counts are starting to trend down already, so I will be neutropenic sooner, and probably longer, than last round. I'm also more at risk of needing blood/platelets this time. I would greatly appreciate your prayers in that department. I really hope I won't need any transfusions.

Thanks for all the cards, calls, e-mails, blog comments, and prayers! They encourage us so much, especially while we are away from home.

Round 2 has run out

2009-09-28T21:54:00.000-05:00

The second round of chemo medications have run out. Praise God for His care over Sarah during this round of treatment. She has done remarkably well compared even compared to the first round. Prayer is an amazing thing. The Lord has spared her from having any headaches, and although there has been some nausea, it has been minimal. She has even managed to keep eating the whole time through this round, which I believe can only help expedite her regaining her strength. Thank you all so much for all of your prayers and messages. We've still a long way to go, but this makes the halfway point of the chemo. :) Praise God for His care of her (us) thus far. He has been very merciful to us throughout the treatment process. Please continue to pray for the needs expressed by Sarah. We can definitely feel the power of your prayers over here. The burden of all of this has been even lighter during this treatment cycle. Looking ahead, I have one other prayer consideration. We will have to do more scans when return for the next cycle. Please pray that all of these scans would come back clear and no extra treatment would be necessary. Its hard to describe all that goes on with just a simple post on a blog. Know this though, the power of the Lord knows no bounds, and your prayerful petitions have more of an impact than you may realize. I hope the Lord is blessing you all as much as He has blessed us through this process. --Josh

Almost Done!

2009-09-28T09:16:00.000-05:00

I only have about 14 hours of chemo left! Still no headaches, still eating fairly well, and ready to go home! I've seen the doctor, nurse practitioner, and nurse this morning. They have to run through their assessments, lists of side effects I might be having, and all of that. It gets almost humorous. Any nausea? No. Any pain? No. Eating and drinking okay? Yes. Any numbness, tingling, holding fluid, shortness of breath? No no no no. Then they all ask, "Is there anything you need from us?" "Yes! Send me home as early as possible tomorrow!"

Some things to pray for as we head home tomorrow morning...

Safe travel
No need for blood transfusions
Good appetite/no reflux
No fatigue, bone pain, etc. from the Neupogen injections I'll start getting every day
No PICC line infections. I haven't had any problems with it yet, and I hope it stays that way
And one last funny one. Clean public restrooms on the way home so I can avoid germs!

I really enjoyed Spurgeon's Morning by Morning for today, and thought I would just share it here.

"The Lord looketh from heaven; He beholdeth all the sons of men."—Psalm 33:13.

Perhaps no figure of speech represents God in a more gracious light than when He is spoken of as stooping from His throne, and coming down from heaven to attend to the wants and to behold the woes of mankind. We love Him, who, when Sodom and Gomorrah were full of iniquity, would not destroy those cities until He had made a personal visitation of them. We cannot help pouring out our heart in affection for our Lord who inclines His ear from the highest glory, and puts it to the lip of the dying sinner, whose failing heart longs after reconciliation. How can we but love Him when we know that He numbers the very hairs of our heads, marks our path, and orders our ways? Specially is this great truth brought near to our heart, when we recollect how attentive He is, not merely to the temporal interests of His creatures, but to their spiritual concerns. Though leagues of distance lie between the finite creature and the infinite Creator, yet there are links uniting both. When a tear is wept by thee, think not that God doth not behold; for, "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him." Thy sigh is able to move the heart of Jehovah; thy whisper can incline His ear unto thee; thy prayer can stay His hand; thy faith can move His arm. Think not that God sits on high taking no account of thee. Remember that however poor and needy thou art, yet the Lord thinketh upon thee. For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect towards Him.
Oh! then repeat the truth that never tires; No God is like the God my soul desires; He at whose voice heaven trembles, even He, Great as He is, knows how to stoop to me.

Have a blessed Monday morning!

34 hours down, 62 to go

2009-09-26T09:23:00.000-05:00

We're 10 hours into day 2, and things are going pretty well. My appetite started to go around dinner time last night. I don't have any nausea though. The only way I can describe it is like a nausea of the mouth. The stomach might feel empty, but the mouth really doesn't want anything in there! Fortunately, I haven't had a single headache! Praise God! I'm still feeling pretty good overall, and ready to go home!

I really appreciate all the prayers! It makes such a tremendous difference. I am really doing much better with round 2 than I did with round 1. No chemo brain, no headaches, just appetite stuff. I stayed on so much pain medicine last time with the headaches that I don't remember half the time I was here. Bro. Paul and Mrs. Jerrilynn and Brandon and Melonie came by to visit, and I just lay in bed like a vegetable. Josh tells me something every day that I said or did during round 1 that I just don't remember! So I'm very thankful that there's none of that this time around. We are so thankful for all our family and friends praying for us. You are the best!

Round 2 Has Begun!

2009-09-24T23:57:00.000-05:00

As of 11:30 PM, I have been plugged in! This will put the chemo ending at 11:30 PM Monday night. If all goes well, I will be discharged Tuesday. For those of you that would like specific things to pray for, I can give you a list!

No headaches! -- Hopefully this will be better this time around because I'm going to stay on the high doses of magnesium, and because I haven't been sitting here hooked up to fluids for days getting my electrolytes out of whack, and because I won't be getting a spinal tap.

Eating -- I did okay with nausea last time, but I had a really hard time finding anything I could eat that tasted halfway normal. Not to mention, the food here is bad. Even though hospital food in Louisiana isn't great, it's still from Louisiana. That makes it somewhat better. They have a crazy mess of Tex-Mex on the menu here and some seafood that I am not brave enough to order. I tried the barbecue chicken last time. Not good. I brought a bunch of groceries this time. I tried to keep in mind what I wanted to eat last round and bring those things with me. I hope I remembered correctly!

Patience and attitude -- My attitude has been great thus far, but I really hope it stays that way when/if I start to feel bad from the chemo. It's much harder to stay positive when feeling bad.

Guess I should try to get some sleep now! Thanks as always for your prayers!

No Room at the Inn....

2009-09-24T11:15:00.000-05:00

Well we're sitting here at the Rotary House (MD Anderson's hotel) waiting for a hospital room. Hopefully it will be today! I am ready to get this done. Be praying that we get a room.

All my lab work from yesterday looked great, so there won't be any hold up on starting the chemo. They told me next time (round 3), they will be repeating a bunch of the scans (PET, CT, etc). As of now, they have me down for a CT scan of the sinues and not an MRI. I hope it stays that way, because the head/neck MRI was awful! I can deal with the claustrophobia thing (because my hubby was sweet enough to rub my feet the entire time I was in the tube), but the NOISE is HORRIBLE. The spinal MRI was a walk in the park compared to the head. The noise really makes you think you could lose your mind. So I'm hoping and praying that they won't change their minds, and they'll stick with the CT. That will probably add about one extra day to the process next trip.

So hopefully they will discharge someone around lunch today (target discharge time is 11 AM), and by around 1-2 PM I'll have a bed. That's what happened last time. But as for now, we're just trying to beat the boredom :)

Round 2, Here We Go!

2009-09-22T17:49:00.000-05:00

We will be leaving bright and early tomorrow morning to head back to MD Anderson. I have a 1:30 PM appointment for lab work, 3:30 PM Dr.'s appointment, and then I should be directly admitted to the hospital. Please pray for safe travel and that they will have a bed ready when I get there!

I should only be in the hospital for 4-5 days this time. The chemo treatment will last for 4 full days (96 hours). The process will be the same for each round. That will put the 4th and final round starting around November 4th. So by Thanksgiving, I should be healthy enough to celebrate Thanksgiving!

I had a checkup in Baton Rouge today, and all my lab work looks good. I've only lost 5 pounds. I think initially I had lost about 7-10 lbs, but I've had no real trouble gaining it back. All in all, I have tolerated round 1 very well. We are so thankful to God for His constant care and provision, and we know He will bring me through these next 3 rounds just as healthy.

While we were at Mary Bird Perkins today, the lady that works at the front desk, Faye, told us that her grandson was just diagnosed with lymphoma. They do not yet know what type of lymphoma he has or how advanced it is. His name is Gabe, and I think she said he is 16. Please keep him and his family in your prayers.

We will be keeping the blog updated while in the hospital, so check in for updates. Thanks to everyone for the calls, e-mails, cards, and prayers. We are so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends.

Great Day Today!

2009-09-17T20:32:00.000-05:00

I have had a great day today! I'm now basically hairless. Mrs. Marianne was kind (and strong!) enough to give me a Britney Spears haircut yesterday. :) I'm so glad it's done! I was pretty upset Tuesday, but I made my peace with it, and I'm honestly not sad at all now.

I didn't take any Nexium yesterday, and I may stop it completely. My stomach felt like it wasn't digesting anything. Must have been the right thing to do because I've been eating like a horse today (NOT a pony this time). A very healthy horse. I also started working again today from home only for now. That coupled with the eating made me feel so much better. I've had tons of energy and basically feel completely normal. I'm sure it is also due in part to the fact that my recovery period is drawing to a close.

We head back to MD Anderson on Wednesday. Round 2 shouldn't be as much of a hassle. Lab work, see the doctor, get checked in, get hooked up, get it done! They ran so many tests last cycle that we ended up staying for days. I shouldn't have to deal with all that this time. Hopefully we'll be there Wednesday through Sunday this time, and I'll be back to work by about Tuesday. Pray for safe travel, smooth sailing in and out of the hospital, and of course my health/side effects while I'm getting chemo. I hope and pray I continue to do this well.

We posted on the whole DNA thing a while back, and that is still in the works. I'll be getting swabbed soon so they can DNA test my tissue sample. It's such a bizarre thing that I have this type of cancer that we couldn't help but wonder if there was a mix up between pathology groups or something somewhere. However, the growth rate of the tumor was so much lower than expected that I really think it came from a healthy person (i.e. ME). But it certainly doesn't hurt to do this check.

I hate to do it, but I have to bring up magnesium again. I ordered a book called Beating Cancer With Nutrition by Patrick Quillin. I have a little nutrition obsession I think. I go to the index and look for "lymphoma." Turn to the page that first mentions lymphoma, and this is what I read: "Deprive animals of magnesium and they spontaneously develop lymphoma." I just about fell out of my chair. He makes several mentions of a magnesium/lymphoma connection throughout the book! I can't believe it's just a coincidence or speculation by a crazy nutrition nut. This guy is a PhD, RD, CNS and worked for the Cancer Treatment Centers of America for years. Glad I'm on high doses of magnesium now. I won't ever stop taking it!

Well, enough for tonight I think. Hope everyone is doing well. Thanks as always for you love, support, and prayers. Josh and I appreciate it so much!

Surprise, Surprise!

2009-09-14T15:39:00.000-05:00

I have white cells! And red ones too :) I'm not anemic. Platelets are still a little low, but not dangerous. So things are looking good. My bones feel better today too. I'm still very tired feeling, but hopefully I'll perk up a little bit now that I won't have to be quite as careful about infections. I won't be going around big crowds or anything right now, but getting out of the apartment without a surgical mask will be a nice break. Thanks for all the prayers everyone!

Lab Work Tomorrow

2009-09-13T20:01:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to give a quick update on how things are going. I started taking Nexium on Friday, and since then I've been eating much, much better. Even had a steak for lunch today! I've been getting daily Neupogen injections since we left MD Anderson. I got the last one for this cycle today. Bone pain is a side effect, but I've just started to feel a little of that yesterday and today. Hopefully it will go away now that the shots have ended. If not, I've heard Claritin works wonders (thanks Mrs. Lucie!). I go back to the doc for lab work tomorrow. I'm not feeling any weaker or dizzier than I was Friday, so I'm betting my red cells are still hanging in there. Hopefully the whites will be coming back up too, but it may still be a little early for that.

The main problem right now is trying to keep from going stir crazy. Since I'm so susceptible to infection, I haven't left the apartment since the doc appointment on Friday. It's really hard to instruct my family how to clean, shop, and cook for me. But I sure appreciate them doing it! At least I get to go to the doctor's office tomorrow! I'll post an update on lab work when we get back.

White Cells Are Gone

2009-09-11T16:40:00.000-05:00

No church or visitors for me this weekend. White blood cells are gone. All to be expected. Reds and such are still doing okay enough that I'm not in need of any blood right now, Praise God. All else is doing well. Still feeling pretty good. Happy Friday!

Making Progress!

2009-09-10T10:04:00.000-05:00

Today makes day 10 in the 21 day cycle. Yesterday was an EXCELLENT day, and I'm feeling like today is going to be a pretty good day as well. My biggest complaints now are lack of appetite (but I'm still eating plenty, only lost 3 or 4 pounds so far) and acid reflux. Those are both manageable. I'm a little more tired today than yesterday, but that is to be expected because my blood counts will be very low during days 10-14. That means I can't go out or have visitors right now :(. Or play with knives or lift heavy things as my mother has instructed me :) We are praying that I won't need any blood transfusions. Although, if I do, I really appreciate those of you that have let me know you are O- and willing to donate. Josh doesn't even know his blood type, and he could very well be O-. Adrienne and I think Mrs. Cindy are both O+, so if Josh happened to be O-, that would be excellent!

On the migraine front, the doctor sent me home on 1000 mg of magnesium a day! I was only taking 150 mg on my own before all this started. Has anyone else that has gone through cancer/chemo been prescribed magnesium? I'm just wondering if there's any other purpose for it? They did have to keep my magnesium controlled the entire time I was in the hospital because it kept getting a little low and causing migraines. For those of you who get migraines, I think it's definitely worth it to get your doc to check your magnesium levels! What is has done for me is nothing short of amazing.

Emotionally/spiritually, I'm doing very well. I full believe that this is never coming back. All of my doctors (and gosh I've seen about 9 I think) are in 100% agreement on the diagnoses and treatment, and all have said "cure." I just started reading a book that I heard about while at MD Anderson called "Anti-Cancer" by Dr. David Servan-Schreiber. I'm only on about chapter 3, but so far, I highly recommend that everyone read it - cancer or not. He discusses both conventional and natural approaches to cancer treatment and prevention, and it is very fascinating stuff. Check it out on Amazon. The reviews are overwhelmingly positive. There are two main genres of reading material that you will find on my bookshelf: religious books and health/diet books. I can tell this one is going to be one of my favorites. I also just finished reading "The Blue Zones" (right before I got diagnosed), and I loved it too. Josh and I have also been reading Spurgeon's "Morning and Evening" every day (thanks Uncle Barry) and the Gospel of John. John is hands down my favorite Gospel and probably one of my top 5 favorite books of the Bible. If you have never read through it, I highly recommend it more than any other book I've recommended so far :) I always feel a renewed sense of the love, compassion, and power of Christ every time I read it. His Word is so sweet.

Hope everyone is having a fabulous week, and I wish you all an excellent weekend. I'm hoping I'll be released to work (starting from home for now) by no later than Monday! Prayers in that area would be appreciated too. Getting in a normal routine helps things so much. Hold down H4 for me Motiva buddies! Hope to see y'all soon!

Good to be Home!

2009-09-07T15:28:00.000-05:00

I'm so glad to be home! I'm doing a lot better than I expected to be, praise the Lord. It was so wonderful to sleep in my own bed last night, even though I am still having a little trouble sleeping. I'm not having as much trouble eating as I thought I would. I think it's becoming a joke with my family that my appetite is doing so well :)

I just wanted to thank everyone that has been keeping up with the blog, leaving comments, and most importantly, praying. Your thoughts and prayers have done so much to sustain us throughout this. The words of Lamentations 3:22-23 have never meant so much to me as they do now: "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." When we left the hospital yesterday, I prayed, "God, if You don't give me strength to keep going, I just can't. There's just no way I'll be able to." Shortly after, I was eating curly fries from Jack in the Box :) God has given us exactly what we need day to day, and I know He will continue to do so.

I think we'll be headed back to Texas for round two sometime around the 22nd. We still have a long road ahead of us, but it's a little shorter than it was a week ago. For those of you that see or talk to Josh, give him a hug or tell him you love him. He is the most amazing and wonderful husband I could ask for. I am truly blessed.

Hope everyone is having a great Labor Day!

Love,
Sarah

Finally Home

2009-09-06T18:17:00.000-05:00

We are finally back at home. I never knew our apartment could feel so big. Thank you for your prayers. Sarah has had a pretty good day today. She still doesn't feel good and is very tired, but her appetite is definitely better today. We had a good trip back, and we are both glad to be home. At the same time, we realize that even life back at home is not "normal." Pray for us as we handle all of these adjustments. Continue to pray for Sarah's comfort, strength, spirits, and appetite. Prayer makes all the difference because the Lord hears and honors those requests.

12 hours left

2009-09-05T11:42:00.000-05:00

They just hung the last bag of chemo. These will run until about 10 p.m. tonight, then we will hopefully be headed home tomorrow (morning hopefully) sometime. Sarah is still having a lot of problems with the headaches. Please pray for the Lord's care of her in this area. She is trying to avoid the pain pills as much as she can beacause she says the after-effects of them are every bit as bad as the headaches, as far as the way she feels all over. Also as many of you know who have either experienced chemo or know someone who has, everything she eats tastes different. As her appetite is already very diminished, this becomes a big issue. She doesn't know what to expect something to taste like, as it changes everyday. So, she doesn't know what she wants to eat. She'll try different things, but eventually the trying gets overwhelming, and she loses the slight desire she had to eat. Pray for the Lord's help and provision with this as well. It would do her a lot of good to have some sense of normalcy in something I think. Also, last night was not very restful. The nausea medication makes her sleep restlessly anyway and on top of that, I think there was more traffic in and out of here last night than normal. I guess because it was Friday, there were three nurses involved in caring for her instead of two, which meant they were having to do their check-up rounds to get themselves updated upon every shift change. Just pray for a restful day today. There is a long way to go. Continue to pray for Sarah's strength, comfort, and spirit, along with the expressed needs. Pray as well that the Lord would give me extra strength, patience, and would sustain me throughout all of this process. This is a "process", and the Lord will use it for our benefit. I pray also that it will be a blessing to you as well. Give Him the glory, He is a mighty God and deserving of our praise. Although we are not worthy to stand in His presence, He grants us that privelege if we humble ourselves before Him. He has blessed me with this privelege lately, and it is the only reason I can press forward. It is a joy to fellowship with Him, and I realize instantly the moment when my focus becomes side-tracked. The fear and weakness would be overwhelming, but He is our Refuge and our Rock, our Shelter in the storm, and without Him, we have nothing. His love and mercy are over-whelming. The Lord's strength and comfort are more powerful than anything of this world, so what have we to fear? Alas, we are still human, and the need for constant prayer and supplication are evident. Your prayers help to sustain and strengthen us. Pray for everything to go well and that we can return safely home in the morning. Thank you as always. May the Lord bless you today as well. ---Josh

Halfway Through Round 1

2009-09-04T10:49:00.000-05:00

We are now halfway through the first round of treatment and halfway through the third day. So far there really isn't a lot to update except that your prayers are still working. Praise God for His continued mercies to us. Sarah had a little better appetite this morning, and we actually walked around for a while as well. She still feels about the same and is very much ready to go home. Any of you that know me, know that saying I'm ready to get home is a huge understatement. Its only by the Lord's grace and the patience He's given me that I've survived being inside for over a week and a half :) All joking aside, He has provided us with our every need thus far. We will be ready to get home, hopefully Sunday, as planned. Unfortunately with Sarah's blood counts and immunity being low, we probably will be unable to have visitors, but your prayers are sufficient. Please continue to keep Sarah in your prayers and remember to praise God for what He has done thus far. Many thanks.
-Josh

Day 2

2009-09-03T11:57:00.000-05:00

We are now halfway through day number two of the 4-day long first round of chemo. So far Sarah is doing ok. She doesn't feel good by any means, but the Lord has been gracious enough to keep her from becoming too sick. The doctors say she is handling it well. She has continued to have some headaches and nausea, which at times have been pretty bad. However, as I said, the Lord has taken care of her and not allowed them to get too bad or last too long. Her medicenes seem to be working pretty well and are keeping the side effects minimalized. Thank you for all of your prayers, and please continue to pray for her/us as there is still a long way to go. Pray for the Lord's continued protection, strength, and mercy. Give thanks as well for what He has already done, and especially that He has allowed Sarah the peace and comfort to be able to sleep well. Her appetite has very much decreased...pray for this matter and for her strength, so she will be able to eat without getting nauseated. The Lord is good, and He continues to watch over us and bless us. May He do the same for all of you as well.

CHEMO has begun

2009-09-02T13:49:00.000-05:00

Sarah started the first chemo treatment last night at about 10:30. The treatment will last for 4 days, with 3 of the drugs running 24 hours a day, and one of the drugs being administered once every 12 hours for a period of 2 hours each time. So far, she has had minimal pain, mostly headaches, and nausea. They have given her some medication along with the chemo drugs in order to combat this problem. Praise God for His mercy to her thus far, as she has not had any real mentionable complications and so far is continuing to have some appetite. Pray for His continued protection of her, and that she would be able to rest and continue to eat without feeling too bad. It is early in this step and the longer the drugs run, from what I understand, the more cumulative their effect, normally. The Lord's hand is in all of this though, and we can definitely feel His sustaining and healing presence. Her blood counts have already started to drop very slightly. This is not at all unexpected, but pray that the Lord would sustain her above the point where a blood transfusion would become necessary. Also as many of you know, she will become very susceptible to infection as her white blood cell count continues to drop. Pray for the Lord's care and protection in this matter as well, as this is one of the most serious threats in the treatment process. The staff here takes great precautions to prevent this from happening, and we are doing the same. The greatest protection she has though is that of the Lord. Thank you for all of your prayers and messages. All of it plays a significant role in this process, and I continue to thank the Lord for all of you everyday. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

P.S. ...

2009-09-01T22:33:00.000-05:00

Add to that list of prayer requests that I won't need any blood transfusions. However, should I need one, if you are O negative, let me know :)

Here We Go!

2009-09-01T19:52:00.000-05:00

I think they're going to hook me up shortly!

We just met with Dr. Fowler, my primary doctor here. A lot of this delay in getting started is due to the fact that we have questioned whether or not the cancerous tissue was actually mine since this is so rare. We have wondered if there was some type of mix up with my tissue sample and someone else's. There is nothing left in my nose to biopsy, and even if there was, it wouldn't help. If they took another scraping and it came back negative, they would say the surgery removed it all, and they would still proceed with treatment. If it came back positive, that would only confirm what we already know. So we've asked them 1) Can we DNA test it? 2) Can we test the tissue for HIV? If it has HIV in it, it's not mine. 3) Can we blood type it? The doctors seemed like they had not thought of any of this, but agreed that those would be good steps to take. However, those tests could take so long that we would risk losing this window of opportunity where I'm still considered stage 1. The doctors think we should proceed with round 1 of chemo while they pursue some of these tests. If by some slim chance there was a mix up, one round of chemo would obviously be less damaging than four.

The chance that there was a mix up is slim. They know for a fact that it is nasal tissue. Also, the growth rate of the tumor from my nose was much lower than what they have typically seen. This could indicate that the tumor came from a healthier person (i.e., ME) rather than an immuno compromised person. Still, it's so unusual that, from what I understand, they don't even have another case for comparison. They have to go by the treatment plans they have used for HIV patients. I think the doctors are a little concerned that they are shooting in the dark because they have no tumors or cancer cells to watch while they treat me and therefore no way to know if it's working. I personally think they have nothing to worry about because there is a Great Physician at work.

Pray for wisdom for the doctors to make the right decisions. Pray for the pathology group that will be reviewing and testing this sample. Pray for me as I undergo this first round of treatment. I will keep you all posted on how things go!

Also, pray for me (Josh) as I handle all of this and I learn how the Lord will use me to minister to Sarah. Pray for my strength and courage, as I would rather it be me in this situation than see my sweet wife go through it. She is probably stronger than I am though. Please also give prayers of thanks for the amazing ways the Lord has worked throughout this situation, and give Him the glory for all of it. Pray for His continued mercies and healing and for Sarah's comfort and protection throughout the whole of this process.

Chemo starting tonight....maybe...I think?

2009-09-01T14:49:00.000-05:00

The preliminary report on the spinal fluid is that it was negative for any cancerous cells. Praise the Lord! That means no intrathecal chemo! I would have had multiple lumbar punctures over the course of this chemo if they decided to do the intrathecal chemo, not to mention lots of side effects. Dr. Fowler is supposed to come by this evening to talk to us when he gets done seeing patients at his office. I think after that I will start chemo. Thanks to all who are praying. It means so much to us and has had such a powerful impact on every little detail of things happening here. Assuming chemo starts tonight, I should be discharged on Sunday.

On another note, I normally take a 150 mg Magnesium Citrate supplement daily to prevent migraine headaches. I noticed every time I got a migraine, I craved really dark chocolate. Dark chocolate is high in magnesium. Then, I read on the internet and in Prevention that magnesium could help, talked to a neurologist I was seeing at the time, and decided to give it a try. The neurologist had previously prescribed Imitrex. It knocked the migraine out once it hit, but it left me feeling like very tired and sore all over. My doctor said it wouldn't hurt to try magnesium, but he didn't really think it would help. I started taking the magnesium in January and went from 2 migraines (and 2 Imitrex) a week to zero. Since I've been in the hospital, they haven't been giving me magnesium daily. I've been having blood drawn every day. A few days ago, I got a really bad headache. I asked the nurse for some pain medicine, and when she brought it to me, she also had a bag of magnesium to add to my IV! Turns out, my blood work that morning had shown that my magnesium was low! They hooked it up, and my headache went away. The same thing happened this morning. So for those of you that get migraines, you may want to try magnesium. Sorry for the rambling, totally off subject info, but I thought it might be helpful to someone who reads this. Plus, blogging gives me something to do :)

Spinal Tap Complete

2009-08-31T15:00:00.000-05:00

The spinal tap is over! It wasn't bad at all. They gave me a couple meds to keep me relaxed, and I really didn't feel a thing with the procedure. It was over in about 10 minutes. I have a very small sore spot on my back now, like a bruise. I had to lie flat on my back for an hour before I could move, or I could risk getting a spinal headache. I stayed flat for about an hour and a half, and got up with no problems. Yay! God is good.

Bro. Paul and Mrs. Jerri Lynn surprised us with a visit today. All our Pine Grove buddies kept that a secret! It was great to see them this morning and to have prayer with them before the lumbar puncture started. We won't know the results of the tests they run on the spinal fluid for about 2 or 3 days. That will decide whether or not I will get intrathecal chemo. As for the rest of the chemo, the plan is still to start that sometime this evening. I think the docs are still in discussion about everything. They want to be very careful to not treat me more than is needed since this is such a rare situation we are facing.

I'll keep you all posted about when the chemo will actually start. Pray that the spinal fluid tests negative for any cancerous cells.

With love,
Sarah & Josh

Chemo Starts Tomorrow!

2009-08-30T15:58:00.000-05:00

The doctor gave us the unofficial results of the sinus MRI this morning. All he saw was some sinus congestion like they would see for a sinus infection, nothing cancerous. So the plan now is to do a spinal tap in the morning. After that, they will start chemo. The spinal fluid will be tested for any cancerous cells, and that will determine whether or not I will get the intrathecal chemo. I'm really hoping I don't need it! The mental side effects are worse with intrathecal, and the procedure is fairly painful. It requires a spinal tap to remove spinal fluid, and then a chemo injection. We are hoping a praying that I won't have to go through that.

Chemo will last for about 4 days, Monday through Thursday, so I'll be discharged either Friday or Saturday. I don't know if I'll go back to work, or work from home yet. My white blood cell count will be really low, so I'll be very susceptible to infections. I probably won't be out in public much. Also, I found out Friday that I can't have fresh flowers, plants, fruit baskets, etc. sent to the room since they can all carry viruses, fungi, and bacteria. The nurses have let me have them so far, but now that the chemo is going to begin, they won't.

Other than the waiting and being bored and homesick, we are doing okay. I had my PICC line put in on Wednesday, and my arm is pretty bruised and sore. I think they had to stick me six times before they were able to get it to thread. I knew Josh and my mom had to be getting worried, so I asked one of the nurses to go out in the waiting room to let them know what was going on. Plus, I wanted them to know to be praying that the nurse would get it to thread. When she came back, she told me she was going to stick one more time on my left arm and then would switch to my right. I told her, "I'm pretty sure you're going to get it this time," and she did. God is good :)

Keep the prayers coming! We really appreciate all the prayers, e-mails, text messages, and calls. Love y'all!

Background and Update

2009-08-28T14:54:00.003-05:00

By now I think most people have heard that I was diagnosed with a very rare type of lymphoma earlier this month. I had an abnormal growth in one side of my nose that I only noticed because I felt like I had a stuffy nose. I went to and ear nose & throat doctor in July, and he thought it was a pyogenic granuloma - a completely benign growth. He recommended surgery to remove it so I could breathe normally. I had surgery on July 27th. A week later, we found out it was malignant.

The tissue sample was analyzed in Baton Rouge, at the Mayo Clinic, and now by MD Anderson. They have all agreed on the diagnoses and treatment. The type of cancer is plasma blastic lymphoma. It's most commonly seen in immuno compromised people, especially those with HIV. Of course I'm HIV negative and perfectly healthy. The MD Anderson docs seem pretty stumped. Stumped may not be the correct term, but they do seem surprised that I have this. I have had a PET scan, CT scans, bone marrow biposy, and blood work at Mary Bird Perkins. Since we've been at MD Anderson, I've had more blood work, a bone scan (head to toe x rays), and an MRI of my spine. Everything except the spinal MRI has not shown any evidence of anything else. Praise God! The spinal MRI only showed one small spot of concern, which the doctor attributed to the punctures from the bone marrow biopsy. They also did an echo cardiogram this morning because one of the chemo drugs can affect the heart. They don't suspect any problems. They just need a baseline.

I was scheduled to begin chemo today (Friday). The type of chemo is called hyper CVAD. Each letter in CVAD stands for a different type of drug that they will give me. My treatment plan would actually be a modified hyper CVAD as it would also include intrathecal chemo (directly into the spinal canal). I think this was actually an extra precaution. Since the cancer was found in my nose, they wanted to be extra careful that it didn't get into my brain. They plan to do about 4 cycles of chemo - 4 days of treatment in patient at MD Anderson (meaning I'll be in the hospital while getting chemo) followed by about 16 days "off" when I'll get to come home. This would all be followed up by radiation.

As of about half an hour ago, that plan has changed.

Josh and Eric were having a conversation a couple of days ago about how unusual this is. I don't know which one of them came up with this, but they asked, "I wonder if they can DNA test that tissue to make sure it's Sarah's?" Earlier today, we asked the oncologist that I see while in the hosptial (Dr. Wang), and he said, "That's a very reasonable question." He talked to Dr. Fowler (the oncologist I first met with at MD Anderson), and they have now decided that I need to be seen by an MD Anderson ENT and have an additional MRI of my sinuses. The MRI of my sinuses may show something that the CT scans did not, which would give them an idea of whether or not the chemo was working (once we get started with it). Dr. Wang told us today that it's wonderful that I don't have any other "markers" because that means they don't see cancer growing anywhere else. However, it's frustrating to a doctor because they have no way to gauge the success of the treatment like they could if they saw tumors shrinking or something along those lines. So I don't know if they'll do the DNA test or if they even can, but they are going to delay the chemo until I get this MRI done. They do know that it is nasal tissue, so it's most likely mine.

Also, they got results today of the growth rate of the tumor from the nose. I don't remember the name of the test they use to check this, but from my understanding, they expected the growth rate to be around 90%. It was only 50%. Now that they know that, they are rethinking the intrathecal (spinal) chemo. They plan to do a lumbar puncture on Monday to make sure there are no cancer cells in my spinal fluid. If there aren't, that may mean no spinal chemo! I sure hope so. Not looking forward to that.

Now we're here for the weekend, basically not doing anything while we wait to get the MRI done and the results from it.. They don't want me to check out of the hospital because I could loose my bed, and it takes some time to get in here. Took us about a day and a half to get a bed.

So I'm still looking at chemo and radiation, but there are still a few things to iron out before we know how much, how long, etc. The prognosis is very good, and we are seeing God answer prayer after prayer in amazing ways.

I will end this with two quotes that keep running through my mind in all of this. The first is from Dr. Billings, my oncologist in Baton Rouge. The second is from my friend Dusty.

1) "You should expect to see your grandchildren graduate from college."

2) "Maybe after you saw the first doctor and before you saw the second doctor, the Great Physician already took care of it.

I hope to keep this updated (or talk Josh into updating it for me when/if I don't feel well) with what's going on here in Houston. Thanks everyone for the love and prayers!